Perfectly Imperfect Entrepreneur-ing

You take the plunge and start your own business. You set aggressive goals, and “know” you can handle it. You accept your successes as simply doing what you expect of yourself. But what about your failures? The deadlines you didn’t meet. The places where you didn’t measure up to your own standards. Pretty much anywhere you believe you fell short. How do you treat yourself when inevitably, something doesn’t work out as you’d planned?

If you’re a driven new entrepreneur, you hold yourself to the highest standards, forgetting about necessary things like self-care, and taking a break now and then. Most of all, you hold yourself accountable for the things that don’t work out despite your best efforts. You show no mercy for the tasks you didn’t finish, even though the million-and-three crucial tasks you didn’t allow for were responsible for the delay.

The biggest problem with starting your own business is how much you don’t know, no matter how well you prepare. There are tasks which need to be done before you can do 7 other things, but quite often, you weren’t even aware they needed to be done.

Keeping Your Forward Momentum Going

Sure, they’d get done more easily if you hired someone who specialized in that sort of thing, but if you’re just starting out, it may not be in the budget. Or if you’re one who’s ensured your endeavor is well-funded before you began, you might have control issues and be unwilling to let something go even if it’s not in your wheelhouse. Even if, quite frankly, you suck at doing it.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on what some might call my ill-advised journey is the more time I spend beating myself up over tasks not done or deadlines not met, the harder it is to get back on track. The more I shove the things I hate onto a back burner, the bigger and scarier they become.

Of course, by the time I figured all this out, I’d gotten myself into a fair amount of hot water. Thankfully, I’m a stubborn piece of work as my parents told me on many occasions. If I feel something is worth working for (and believe me, my dream of being a published author and expert in my field are non-negotiable these days), I will move heaven and earth, do without, and go on long work binges to get everything caught up. The question is, am I using my time effectively even then?

To Do, To Hire, or To Learn?

When would I be better served to hire someone (or at least swap services) to fill in the blatantly obvious gaps in my education?

I’m learning I can actually acquire some of the knowledge I need by watching and listening. I don’t have to agree with everything I hear (or to use the current buzz word, “resonate”). Still, I’ve learned not to shut my ears just because something doesn’t feel right. I might not feel comfortable with one piece, but there is still valuable information to be gleaned from the group or association as a whole.

It wasn’t always this way, and I’ve paid a heavy price. Once, I’d shut down and turn away at the first sign of something I was certain I disagreed with. I hadn’t yet learned that hearing someone with a different viewpoint out might just broaden my horizons and help me climb out of the hole I’d dug myself because of my lack of knowledge and at some points, motivation. Add to that a healthy dose of resistance to new ideas. I was afraid to listen to something which essentially told me I was doing things wrong. Even though what I was doing wasn’t working! And I call myself an intelligent human being!

Ruling With My Head Instead of My Ego

It took me a long time to put my ego on lock-down, get out of my own way, and be willing to listen when people talked about things I truly did not know. There’s no shame in being ignorant as long as you’re willing to do something about it. As I said before, none of us knows everything. None of us is an expert in all aspects of our business. At some point, if we want our business to grow, we have to ask for help in a minimum of one area (and frankly, I’d like to see the person who’s an expert in all but one aspect of running a successful, thriving business).

A large part of my business is reading and learning. It might appear that I’m spending a lot of time writing, and don’t get me wrong. I do put in a lot of hours every week, though I know I could do more. Some weeks I get a lot of writing done and get another week ahead, others, I slip back to where I have to put in more effort to keep up with my minimum weekly schedule.

I’m talking about being kind to yourself when deadlines slip or you don’t get all of the tasks done you need to if you want to keep the lights on and the doors open. (even I have trouble keeping my personal books up-to-date sometimes!) But I’ve had a wallow or two over failing to keep up with my writing schedule one week, or being behind on some of the behind-the-scenes tasks for my business. I’ve learned a little wallow is far better than a full on self-flagellation session any day. If nothing else, a wallow takes up a lot less time and energy, and usually gets me back on track pretty quickly.

Kicking the Procrastination Habit

Procrastination is still a factor at times. I’d much rather sit on the couch with my cats and watch a sappy movie than do some of the tedious tasks I know I need to get out of the way. Or I’ll futz with a stupid computer game instead of doing what I need to. I suspect we all have those moments though some are far better at controlling those destructive urges than I.

One of the things that helps me stay on track these days is to give myself deadlines. For example, I have all the blog posts for May set up on my Trello board (and have since Mid-April). When I first started doing it, I just had the due date for the post. Now I have another date which tells me when I expect the post to be written (typically at least 2 weeks before the publication date).

Each month, I seem to be adding more to my writing load. In February, I added posting to Medium 3 times a week. It left one day, Monday without any new posts. In April, I decided to add a post on Elephant Journal on my one remaining day. I’m still working on making it a regular thing, but made 2 out of 3 so far.

Cutting Yourself Some Slack

I could beat myself up for missing one week, but that’s where I’m suggesting a change in mindset if you’re not doing it already. Look at what you have accomplished rather than what you missed. And I can’t stress enough, you have to praise yourself! Tell yourself repeatedly how proud you are of what you’ve done. Don’t make excuses for what you missed, but don’t make a big deal of it either.

Think of a time when your kid (if you have one) was playing soccer or little league. Did you yell at them for striking out or missing a goal? Probably not. You more than likely consoled him (or her) and assured them they’d do better next time, and that it wasn’t important to win all the time. The most important thing was to do their best. So why would you tell yourself a different story? You’re no different than that child if a few years older and with a few more bumps and bruises.

You won’t always hit it out of the park. You won’t always get everything done. Face it, we all bite off more than we can chew at times. We think we have enough time, energy, and resources to move a mountain, but in reality, we can only move half of it without calling in reinforcements.

So when things aren’t going as you planned, often through no fault of your own, take a step back, think about the kid who gave it their all but missed the mark by just a bit, and remember, you are that kid. Above all, missing the mark isn’t a failure. It’s a lesson and an opportunity to rethink how you’re doing things. If nothing else, it tells you to go out and learn something!

Need Some Help?

Are you struggling to keep all of your entrepreneurial balls in the air? Would you like to take a task or two off your plate? Maybe it’s content creation, or perhaps it’s getting your books in order and creating a budget. If this sounds familiar and you’re ready to streamline your life and give your business space to grow and thrive, CONTACT ME and let’s talk!

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author. And check out her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward.

Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming release of “Life Torn Asunder: Rebuilding After Suicide”.