Spend Time Dreaming Every Day
The one thing innovators have in common is their ability to keep dreaming bigger, better, stronger…even crazier. They see, not a world of challenges and obstacles, but one of opportunities and possibilities. You don’t have to be an innovator to engage this quality in yourself. You simply have to believe in yourself, and in possibilities.
Too many people have been beaten down, either by trying to fit in, or by someone who tried to dim their spark because it shed too much light on the darkness they, themselves had chosen to inhabit. Consciously or unconsciously, they allow the expectations of others to stop them from fulfilling their own dreams, aspirations, and innovations, sleepwalking through life instead of dreaming their biggest dreams.
I’ve learned it only takes one person to relight that spark, and fan it into a nice, warm, cheerful bonfire. Perhaps you found the strength to break away from old habits; to cast away the false belief you needed to lower yourself to others’ expectations, and relit the flame yourself. Or perhaps you’ve been fortunate enough to have someone else encourage you, and believe in you more than you were able to believe in yourself. Maybe they pushed, prodded, and reiterated your worthiness until their voice was loud enough to drown out all the self-limiting beliefs you’d accumulated while doing your best to navigate an often unforgiving world.
Honor Those Who Inspire and Encourage Your Dreams
For me, it was my daughter. She watched me wallow in misery, and try vainly to meet others’ expectations for years, in part because she mirrored my behavior herself. It’s true you can recognize something in another person easier than you can yourself, and so it is with my daughter and me. I see her worth, her talent, her value, and her beautiful gifts when she doesn’t, and she does the same for me.
I’ve always loved to write, and to make up stories. I’ve been doing it since early childhood. Yet for many years, I ignored the insistent tapping at the back of my mind, shoving it behind shoe boxes filled with misguided beliefs, and worse, the sublimation of my true self in numerous failed attempts to fit in. I was raised to believe fitting in, and not making waves was essential to survival, though for me and my family, that scenario ended when my great-grandparents left the Old Country. In their minds, dreaming was simply a by-product of sleep.
Stop Hiding Your Light
My daughter is another generation removed, and though she picked up some of the outdated beliefs, she’s been able to learn and grow, leaving some of them behind. She’s also been able to help me see the beauty and value in one particular Seuss-ism:
Why fit in when you were meant to stand out?
She helped me see hiding my light was not only hurting me, it was depriving someone else of the inspiration I could offer if I started writing consistently and prolifically. Though it has been far from a smooth, steady ride, her encouragement (and sometimes nagging) kicked me in the butt, and made me realize I was not only failing myself, but others who needed to hear about my own lessons, traumas, and healing in order to pick themselves up one more time, and reach for their own stars, dreaming their own kaleidoscopic dreams in the process.
Better still, she helped me believe in myself as a writer instead of continuing to adhere to my parents’ beliefs and stay in a career that earned me a decent living, but failed to leave room to build the life of my dreams. I suspect I’m not alone in getting mired in the belief that happiness, and dream fulfillment is secondary to earning enough money. The worst part is, “enough” doesn’t seem to have an upper limit, so too many would-be dreamers get stuck trying to reach an impossible, ever-changing goal.
Find Your Own Inspiration
The greatest gift my daughter gave me was rekindling my belief in myself, and bringing my dreaming out into the light of day. Though others along the way have fanned the flame, it was my daughter who woke it in the first place, and gave me the courage, and tenacity to pursue my childhood dream. She helped me believe someone out there would find my words worth reading; my stories worth sharing.
I find inspiration in many places, but music has always been at the top of the list. Whether it was sitting in front of my parents’ old hi-fi listening to records like Simon and Garfunkel, Elton John, and Loggins and Messina, or sticking earbuds in my ears while I work out at the gym, music inspires and uplifts me, but also helps release trapped feelings when writing isn’t enough. It’s no wonder, Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” struck a chord in me, and reminds me to keep going, keep trying, and most of all, keep writing.
Some artists; be they writers, painters, musicians, or sculptors call whatever inspires them a muse. The problem I see there is if the muse gets tired of inspiring, or the artist’s perception of them changes, they stop dreaming; stop creating because they mistakenly believe they need their muse. I’ve learned true inspiration doesn’t come from someone or something outside yourself. It is an internal spark which may rise or fall depending on the strength of your belief in your own abilities and talents.
Get Out of Your Head
Certainly, your spark can be dimmed by outside circumstances, but it’s not the outside influence that dims your flame, but how much you allow someone or something to undermine your self-confidence. You can counteract the negative effects in a number of ways:
- Uplifting Music
- Meditation
- Supportive, and Encouraging Friends
- Expressing the Feelings of Inadequacy, and Releasing Them
- Physical Exercise
You can even set yourself a time limit for wallowing in self-pity. Once, I’d have moved into the pity party room indefinitely. I’ve learned there’s a time and a place, but it’s no place to establish a permanent residence. Nowadays, I allow myself no more than a day and a half, though in most cases, I leave long before I reach the limit. It’s no longer a place where I feel comfortable or safe. Instead, I feel the walls closing in on me, and the abject fear of a claustrophobic drives me from the dark, clammy clutches of the wallow more effectively than whatever sent me there in the first place.
Conquer Your Fears and Dream Your Dreams Boldly
I realize I have my own set of fears which do their best to halt my progress. In that, I suspect I’m no different than you. The fears that slow me down may not be the same ones you fight to overcome, but the effects are the same. You have to acknowledge the fears, and even show gratitude for the times they may have protected you. They may even serve a purpose occasionally, but they are not allowed to participate in your decision-making, nor have a vote in what you do, or how you do it.
I like to visualize my fears as a small child, or imp who needs to be treated with compassion, but also needs a firm hand. I call them out of the dark corner where they like to hide, speak kindly to them, then pat them on the head, give them a cookie, and send them out to play. Once they’re out of the way, I can go back to dreaming, and following one of my dreams with confidence, and a vision of my dreams fulfilled.
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri 
believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.
If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author.
Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.
