The Goals We Make and The Goals We Keep

Keeping up with all the tasks we set ourselves isn’t always easy. More often than not, we set our goals with too little regard for a need for down time. Case in point; I added tasks to my Google calendar in response to a lesson in #HeartfeltEmpowerment. When all was said and done, I had myself booked from 8 AM to 8 PM, and sometimes later. Of course, I did include meal prep, eating, meditation, gym, and dancing in the schedule, so it’s not as onerous as it might seem. Yet I can honestly say, I have not accomplished an entire day’s worth of schedule yet and too many of the tasks have fallen by the wayside completely. I overwhelmed myself into non-productivity!

We have so many things we want to get done, and mistakenly believe we have to get all of it on our schedule now. The only thing that leads to (unless you’re seriously Type A and will work yourself to the bone to tick everything off) is overwhelm. When that happens, quite often, you accomplish even less than before you set your ridiculously insane schedule.

Leaving Room To Be Unproductive

This is where we have to take a step back and allow ourselves to be a little less productive, especially if, like me, you haven’t been productive on a daily basis for a while, unless you count up all the little things which add up while you’re not paying attention.

Living alone, I’m solely responsible for pretty much everything. Yet, while I scheduled in grocery shopping and errands, I neglected to allow time for house cleaning. I didn’t even allow time for cleaning up the kitchen at the end of the day (what hadn’t been cleaned up while cooking meals), or scooping sandboxes, or giving the bathrooms a lick and a promise. Nor did I make time for the 1-2 hour job of vacuuming, mopping, cleaning and refilling sandboxes, or de-furring the furniture.

There are so many weekly, and even daily chores we do without thinking about them, but they, like everything else, take time out of our day. At the moment, my weekly calendar looks like this:

As you can see, I didn’t leave myself much time for anything but work, eating, meditating, and going to the gym. No space to add lunch with a friend, or a movie, or anything unexpected. In other words, no wiggle room. I also have certain tasks which recur every day, and in all honesty, have yet to be accomplished even once.

Leaving White Space in Your Schedule

I’m learning that scheduling is a great thing, as it keeps what needs to be done right in front of me. But just as it’s important to leave white space when writing a blog, it’s also important to leave white space in our day. Whether we fill it with work or leisure, we feel less confined, less stuffed in a box when we leave space to fill as we see fit. Whether it’s an extra long workout at the gym, an Artist’s Date to a coffee shop to do some writing, or even sitting on my front porch and watching the world go by. The white space I leave on my calendar represents freedom to choose; freedom to go off grid for a little while; freedom to do what I feel like doing rather than what I tell myself I must do.

We also need to make sure we understand the schedule we set is a guideline, not a map we must follow to the letter if we want to reach our goals. Sometimes, I skip one thing to spend more time on another. Maybe that’s taking 2 hours to eat my breakfast because I choose to start working as soon as I’ve written my morning pages and put my contacts in. Or I could feel the need to pick up a book from my shelves and read for an hour or two. (Who am I kidding? I never read for only an hour or two!)

The Ultimate Goal is Honoring Our Commitments and Being Happy

As long as we ultimately honor our commitments, both to ourselves and others, where’s the harm in a little flexibility? If you ask me, I’m more productive when I allow myself to deviate from the plan a bit. When I do sit down to edit/rewrite, work on a clients books, or write a blog post for myself or someone else, it flows so smoothly, I’m far more efficient with the time I invest into the project.

I’m also learning some things are meant to be done daily (meals, morning pages, and marketing of some kind), and others should be scheduled for two or three times a week (editing, researching, client work). When you see a task every single day, it can be demotivating at best. I see something over and over on my calendar, and the guilt starts creeping in. My energy drains, and I feel miserable for having failed to honor my commitments to myself. I lose sight of all the things I have accomplished, many of which aren’t even on my calendar. Allowing that to happen inhibits productivity worse than anything else I know.

My goal for the coming week is to re-visit my calendar and make it more user friendly. Leave space for the unexpected, and even under-commit myself. It doesn’t mean I won’t get things done, because I expect to get more done than I am right now, simply by giving myself some breathing room and flexibility.

Listening to Our Internal Barometer

I’ve been feeling uneasy for a few days, and I’m beginning to wonder if part of the unease was guilt over having failed to visit some of the tasks on my list, even knowing I’d set my bar way too high. Once I re-work the schedule, I’ll check in with myself to see if that loosens up the knots in my stomach which only seem to untie themselves to a point.

Checking in with ourselves is the best way I know to see if we’ve over committed, or even under committed. Our bodies know if we’re doing enough, or too much. They tell us, if we’ll listen, when we need to make a change in our lives. Mine sure was shouting to the mountain tops when it was time to leave my old job. It didn’t care that I didn’t have a plan, or even a means of support other than savings. It simply knew it was time for a change, no matter how scary changing my course might be.

Funny, I’m feeling something similar now, though admittedly, not as intense. I know I need to make some changes to the way I “do business” with “business” being my life and the work I do relative to my passion project. Part of that is going to be the way I organize my days—my work week, in particular. Doing so will make me more excited to get back to the editing/rewriting process and the researching for publication I’ve set aside for the last few weeks.

Making Time to Find Our Bliss

What we do really does need to bring us joy, no matter what it is. We need to feel accomplished and that we’re doing something meaningful. Whether it’s maintaining books and records for a client so they have more time to invest into their own passion project, or writing articles, blog posts, emails, newsletters, or anything else which is conveyed best via the written word, or taking a day off to sit on the beach with a notebook in my lap in case inspiration strikes. We need to honor all of it. It’s all part of the circle of our own lives which, without one of the pieces, is incomplete.

Like a tire gone flat, we limp along until we find the missing pieces and fit them back into our own life puzzle. Sometimes it takes diving in and getting things off our plate. Others, we’ll find the missing pieces during quiet contemplation. Either way, we accomplish something while seeking the answers.

 

Check out my Live with Sheri and Friends for July 7th where I talk about Balance.

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, Virtual Assistant and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. She specializes in creating content that helps entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author.

Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming release of “Life Torn Asunder: Rebuilding After Suicide”.