Drive Intentions and Completions With Passion

Rediscovering the Passion

I realized I’ve been short-changing myself lately. I’ve lost the passion for my passion projects, and it shows. Every intention I set to complete one of those projects is doomed to failure, whether I realize it or not. Why? Because I don’t want it enough.

Instead of diving into the next chapter or phase filled with energy, inspiration and desire, I drag myself to the computer, and do everything but open the necessary file. I convince myself there are other things I need to do first; other deadlines that are looming. It’s all baloney. I simply haven’t the necessary drive; the unquenchable desire to finish what I started.

I know what the problem is. I’m letting all the underlying fears get in my way and convince me it’s not worth finishing. I’m letting the gremlins undermine my self-confidence, not only in my writing, but in the value of my message. They’re whispering Who cares? in my ear, and I’m allowing myself to believe them despite how many times friends and acquaintances have told me my message is both powerful and valuable.

Accepting Support But Not External Validation

Granted, the motivation has to come from within. What others say can’t be my motivation. That

doesn’t mean I can’t listen to objectivity when mine has taken a powder. Especially when I’ve allowed those internal voices who hate change to turn me from my path, and suck away all my drive, desire, passion, and motivation. Sometimes, getting out of my head and listening to others isn’t a bad thing, as long as I’m not looking for validation.

I’ve learned intentions I infuse with passion and purpose come to pass no matter what. Those I’m lackadaisical about don’t. Therefore, the solution to my problem is to find that passion and purpose once again, and set intentions that are locked and loaded for success. The question is, how do I find that part of myself that’s been beaten down slowly, insidiously, and thoroughly for the past few months? Is it even worth resurrecting?

The answer isn’t going to be found in the opinions of others, nor will it appear miraculously if I allow the issue to continue to stew inside. My forces within are NOT on my side right now, so I need to launch some kind of counterattack to free my original passion from its bonds.

Kicking Distractions to the Curb

Some might call it writer’s block, but I know it’s far more than that. It’s not that I can’t write. My current success with keeping to my blog schedule is proof of that. Instead, it’s as if every time I even think about opening the necessary file, the gremlins within go into overdrive trying to distract me, and so far, they’ve been distressingly successful. Then again, I haven’t exactly been putting up a fight.

For awhile, it was truly mindless distractions; TV and online games. Lately, it’s been binge reading; burying myself in the words of others, once I meet my blog-writing commitments. At least I’ve chosen something marginally productive, but only because the mindless distractions stopped having any appeal. Deep down, my brain needs something to sink its teeth into, even if the demons keep steering me away from what will feed me best.

I learned when it comes to simple stuff like getting up with the alarm instead of hitting snooze, and sleeping for another hour, I can achieve any goal I want if I give myself a good, solid reason for wanting to achieve it. It might be something as simple as needing to wash my hair, or get to an early appointment. Yet I know this issue requires a more tangible reason before I can give it the power it needs to allow me to manifest a long-held, but sadly drawn out dream.

Finding the Missing Focus

I suspect the Universe has been dropping breadcrumbs in my path a lot lately, but all the distractions have rendered them invisible to me. I also know if I don’t find a way past the distractions soon, the Universe will administer one of its infamous head slaps, and wake me up whether I like it or not.

How that will affect my progress towards completing the dream is questionable, but as with everything else in my life that drop-kicked me out of my ennui, I know it will be a successful effort, albeit painful for me.

The last few months, I’ve taken on an attitude whereby things that don’t get done are no big deal because tomorrow is another day. Something I read, though, made me realize every day I delay brings me closer to the point where I simply fail. The quote was something about always knowing how much money we have, but we never know how much time we have left.

My excessive caution has kept me from contracting COVID, and now that I’m vaccinated, I’m less likely to contract a severe case, but that doesn’t eliminate all other possibilities which could shorten the amount of time I have left. Thus, I’m at the point where I know I need to do it now, not only so it gets completed in the first place, but to open doors that won’t become visible until this project is completed.

Ready to Get the Ball Rolling

It’s sad to think I’ve been short-changing myself for so long. At first, I convinced myself I had to go through some more stuff before I could finish. I had to gain a little more perspective and heal some more. I realize that excuse is old, tired, and as full of holes as Swiss cheese.

Experience never stops coming, and healing never ends. I have to work with what I’ve accumulated thus far, and stop waiting for the proverbial Godot. Most of all, I need to stop raising procrastination to an  art form, kick all the excuses to the curb, and finish what I started so I can move on. I’ve created the longest rut in my recent history, and it’s well past time I climbed out and did something positive, something useful, and got on with this life I shifted gears for 12 years ago.

Enough is enough! It’s time to turn frustration into a passion for writing again; a driving need to move forward, leaving the past behind. Maybe it’ll be harder this time because I’ve allowed myself to drift for so long, but I’ve overcome greater obstacles, and my virtual toolbox has added a few tricks in the last decade it didn’t have at its disposal when I began.

Let the progress begin!

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author.

Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.