Anyone following this blog somewhat regularly may have noticed the long lapse between posts.  My only explanation is that I have been taking the doctor’s advice to heart, and moving more while eating less which has resulted in at least three, but more often, four nights a week of dancing.  It has also found me staying later, dancing longer and putting a lot more energy into it so I come home tired and am in bed far more quickly.  While this is a good thing, physical health-wise, mental health is probably suffering a bit, so I hope to find a balancing point somewhere that will also coordinate with efforts needed to facilitate the remodel which is supposed to commence next week. 

I’m actually getting a lot more two-step and even WCS in lately, and this makes me a very happy girl!  My current focus has also been to do as Joe suggested and loosen up my arms so that I’m easier to lead through patterns.  I’m not completely successful yet, but have found that some things have become easier in the process so I would guess that I’m on the right track.  I believe I need to set a goal to find at least a semi-regular dance partner so I can practice all of the stuff I’ve been learning and maybe even venture further afield to gain some additional material and technique.  I also think that as the weight comes off and my feet are less abused, I’ll need to find something a bit less bulky than my oh-so-comfortable dance sneaks.  I can feel them weighing me down more lately now that I’m working on being lighter and moving more fluidly. 

And speaking of the weight loss, it’s happening, but still very, very slowly.  The app on the iphone is helping as it made me relook at the salad I had today and remove the more fattening (read, tasty) bits like the candied pecans.  As it was, I barely ate half of it anyway.  So much for people and their lap band surgeries.  I seem to have shrunk my stomach naturally!  Especially tonight when I don’t anticipate getting much exercise as dancing is not on the agenda, although neither is sitting at home watching tv or playing on the computer, so it might be ok.  I pulled out my ratty old home scale but I know it’s not accurate, though I really can’t be sure which direction it misstates.  Clothes are slightly looser, but not as much as I would have hoped.  It seems that my patience is being tried on multiple fronts in my life these days!

Which leads me to today’s topic.  Getting to know a man, even on a very casual level, is a lot like getting a feral cat to let you approach and skritch her ears.  You have to move very slowly and if they show the slightest indication of bolting, you have to be the first to back away, again, slowly so as not to startle the poor dears.  What I wonder is, were they always like this and I never noticed, or did common bonds or interests keep them from noticing that I was getting closer than was normally comfortable for them?  Either that, or there’s something most other women have learned which makes the men feel safe in approaching them because I have a number of girl friends who seem to have no trouble getting men to pay attention to them, either casually or more, and it doesn’t seem to be crazy making for them like it is for me.  Or maybe I’m just inherently impatient and scare them off before I even realize they’re close enough to even be able to scare?   Sadly, the whole thing just makes me more impatient and it’s a vicious cycle of frustration, at least for me.  I can’t see it frustrating the scared bunnies as they don’t hang around long enough to find frustration in the situation, and besides, when they scamper off, they find women who are less scary and understand their ways.  Women who don’t make sudden movements or cuttingly witty remarks, who have, perhaps, learned to slow their quick wittedness down to a level which does not put fear into the hearts of men.  The long and the short of it is that I just never was inclined to learn the rules of the game, and even the rules which were in effect when I was younger have changed beyond recognition so where’s a girl to even go for a class on “Males 101”?  And once learned, how do all of those women make it look so natural??  Were they born with an interpersonal gene that I lack?

Maybe what I need to do is to open this up to suggestions from my far more knowledgeable sisters?

So, what say you?

Love and light.

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