Today is emotional for me on a lot of levels, so waking in the middle of the night with another killer migraine shouldn’t really be a surprise.  I’ve been talking about being unsettled and spending a lot of time on tasks which I normally avoid, but a con call with my class tonight helped to put some things in perspective.

While I can’t change the fact that today marks the 10th anniversary of my Dad’s suicide, nor that it marks the 12th anniversary of the World Trade Center disaster, I can change the fact that I’m avoiding things which carry with them a lot of emotional baggage.

That being said, I followed some advice I received and sat down to work on my book, managing to add almost 1,000 words in the process.  With that bridge crossed, I should be able to complete my homework in the next few days.

I also managed to get some chores taken care of including putting away laundry, emptying the dishwasher and scooping sandboxes.  The latter was left undone last night because I was having a battle of wills with Loki over consuming food with new meds in it.  After she spent the entire night in the bathroom drinking water but ignoring her food, and meowing the entire night I realized that getting her to voluntarily consume a small amount of powder just wasn’t going to happen.  We have since gone to plan B, which involves dissolving the stuff in water, sucking it up into a medicinal syringe and squirting it down her throat.  Of course, she’s not amused and tries to drool all of the liquids I’m giving her back out again, but I figure if she’s getting at least 75% of them, she’ll enjoy the benefits of it all, in spite of herself!  She may be very stubborn, but I have had far more practice!

What I wonder now is whether working on my book before my blog is going to become another new habit?  Will I have to start making lunches earlier so that I’ll have more time to write?  Will this cure my restlessness, and will the decluttering continue as well?

These and more questions will be answered in the coming weeks, but you’ll have to stay tuned to find out!   But remember, as each new habit is made and incorporated into my weekly routine, another new one must rise up to fill the space which was vacated by the last empty wasteland of procrastination.

It occurs to me that procrastination is the big, empty, barren wasteland which, with a little perseverance, can be replaced by a new, healthy habit which is characterized by its resemblance to a verdant, productive field of luscious fruits and vegetables.

I realize that adding to my book tonight is only the tip of the iceberg with regard to loving and caring for my body and that getting back to the gym and other regular exercise are really the goal.  But for now, I eat healthy and drink sufficient water more often than not and my lapses are far less destructive than they were in the past.  I’m also getting more sleep lately which is also a healthy improvement.

Progress is progress, I say!  And I am still moving forward and making progress.  My space is cleaner and neater than it’s been in a long time.  I’m spending more time keeping it that way than I am sitting in front of the TV or computer.  Eventually, I’ll learn to balance it all, but not without a little trial and error, which is where all of life’s lessons reside.

But with the progress I’ve made this week, I hope to see a lessening of the pain!  Once again, stay tuned for progress reports.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for progress, in whatever form it takes.
2. I am grateful for different perspectives which help me look at what I’m doing and why, and making changes if the results are not what I desire.
3. I am grateful for the many lessons I’m learning.
4. I am grateful for challenges because they make me stronger and more determined.
5. I am grateful for my daughter and son-in-law who make so many things possible.

Love and light. 

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