With this post, I complete one writing commitment, only to dive, both feet and a few other body parts, into another!
Yo ho, yo ho, the Writer’s life for me! I love having commitments. I love having projects, deadlines, word count requirements. It makes me feel like I’ve actually accomplished something.
Though UBC didn’t really have me doing something I wouldn’t be doing already, the fact that I had to write a blog post every night made it feel like I was accomplishing something. And that’s enough for me to feel inspired and productive right now.
The funny thing is, it really did seem to work. I’ve gotten to the gym more regularly, been more diligent about my household chores, gotten more done on my two accounting clients with less stress… Even those nasty, lingering projects are starting to reach completion.
My newest project is wandering around in my brain, clamoring to be released. I even have a tentative title now (which is a lot more than I had for my first NaNoWriMo project, even months after I’d begun working on the first revision!). My working title is…wait for it…wait for it…
“The Dubious Gift”
Of course, like everything else I do, it’s subject to change at any time, but at least I have something to start with. I can even explain this one, and I have a better feel for it than I did for the last one. I guess that’s what a bit more pre-planning will do, huh?
As we speak, I’m doing my best to immerse myself in the main character. I want to feel what drives her to make the choices she makes; to push on when things seem hopeless, and change directions when things seem to be working well. I’ll be learning what made her the way she is now. Her dreams, her hopes, her disappointments and her triumphs. If I can’t feel a connection with her, how can I expect my readers to?
Yes, I’ve learned a lot over the last year. More, in fact, than I’d realized. No wonder monkey mind has grabbed me by the ears. I might need a trip to the zoo, just to show my mind where the monkeys belong!
Last year, my daughter pretty much shamed me into trying my hand at writing a novel in a month (or at least half of one!). This year, I’m going into it with a completely different mindset, and I think that mindset is what is going to turn my effort into something far more than the months of struggle to just complete the first revision. I’m feeling an excitement I didn’t feel last time, when my main goal was to simply prove my daughter right and complete the challenge. This time, it’s so much more.
With all of the words I spew, I find myself unable to put this feeling I have into words. I think the only way to explain it with any degree of lucidity is to say that this time, I really do feel like a Writer. Last year, I was still in the final stages of winding up my career as an accountant, and had not yet begun to think of myself as a Writer. This year, when asked what I do, I say, loudly and proudly: “I’m a Writer!” I’m no longer afraid to admit that I’m making my dream a reality, nor do I need to qualify it by admitting sheepishly that I’ve not yet published anything besides this blog. Publishing is now a foregone conclusion. When is still not set, but that it will happen is my goal, my purpose and my passion. People have gotten what they wanted with far less emotional investment.
I know I’ve been floundering for awhile, and I finally realized that I hadn’t really given this my full commitment. I know better. If you give half assed, that’s what you get. I’m very excited to see how things roll out with body, soul, mind, emotions and everything else committed to a single cause.
But lest I find myself still typing at 3AM, I will do my best to put a cap on my excitement for now. Tomorrow is a very full day and sleeping in is not an option. So I’ll bid you adieu until the morrow. The end of UBC doesn’t end my commitment to my readers and followers. I appreciate each and every one of you!
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that I’ve found the emotional commitment I needed to truly be a Writer.
2. I am grateful for another opportunity to crank out the beginnings of a novel in 30 days.
3. I am grateful for the upcoming, fun-filled weekend.
4. I am grateful for my friends who never fail to make me feel loved and appreciated.
5. I am grateful for abundance: commitment, inspiration, motivation, accomplishments, joy, love, friendship, harmony, peace, health and prosperity.