This weekend, I set myself some pretty ambitious goals. I am not ashamed to admit that I didn’t achieve them all because I achieved some of them and that’s quite impressive, if you ask me!
What I didn’t accomplish: I did not get to the gym. I did not get the entire house vacuumed and floors scrubbed.
What I did accomplish: I got all of the grocery shopping done for the week and for Thanksgiving. I cleaned out the refrigerator (which wasn’t even on the list!). I vacuumed my office, the hall, the entry and both bathrooms and mopped the bathroom floors. I emptied the cat sand boxes. I got my breakfast and lunch ready for tomorrow. I attended an amazing 25th anniversary party and renewal of vows. I saw a beautiful rainbow. I snuggled with my kitties. I spent some quality time with my daughter and son-in-law. I started decluttering my office and can already see significant results.
Have you noticed that the list of accomplishments is much longer than the list of things I didn’t make? Have you noticed that the “did nots” are all big things while the “dids” encompass all size and manner of tasks? There’s a reason for that. We make our lists of things to do at the top level. If we were to applaud ourselves only at the top level, we’d wait much longer to give ourselves credit, and that’s a poor choice, in my mind. Every little attaboy makes us strive to accomplish more. Every bit of praise we give ourselves makes us give a little more to the next task at hand. While every criticism we give ourselves makes it harder to pick ourselves up for the next task, and makes that next task all the more daunting.
Many years ago, on my first visit to Sedona, I had my Tarot cards read. At the end of the reading, the woman told me “be kinder to yourself”. Although I’ve lost sight of her advice at times, I always find my way back to it and realize that as long as I make sure I’m kind to myself, I’m closer to my Joy, and when I’m closer to my Joy, I’m kinder to the world in general. And isn’t that what it’s all about?
There is more than enough anger, distrust, and downright meanness in the world already. You can’t fight those emotions. The only way to lessen their impact is to flood them with love, kindness and compassion. If you fight them, you’re simply giving them emotional support, even if the energy is negative. Those emotions thrive on negative energy, and grow stronger as a result. Just as an abundance of negative energy can suck the life out of a room, an abundance of positive energy can suck the life out of those destructive emotions, causing them to wither and die, yet without expending energy in their direction.
In an old sci-fi movie, there were aliens who sucked up electrical energy and grew stronger and larger. They were defeated when the current was cut. It’s the same with destructive emotions. Fight them, be reviled by them, protest them, and they grow stronger. Love them, accept them, have compassion for them, even ignore them and they shrivel up and die. You’ve taken away their food, nay, their life blood
I am as guilty as the next person of reacting and feeding into someone’s need to control through chaos. I am also guilty of beating myself up afterwards, which only exacerbates the problem. In the last few months, it has really hit home that I need to practice my kindness and understanding at home, inside of myself, because that is the most difficult place to master the concept. If I can master it within myself, I can face any challenge, no matter how difficult.
So tonight, I’m giving myself a huge hug of appreciation for a job well done, saying “I love you” with all of the sincerity in my heart and forgiving myself for any perceived lack. This is the gift I give to the world for tomorrow and the days to follow.
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for a wonderful start to the final phase of decluttering my house.
2. I am grateful for a short work week, and a long family and friends week.
3. I am grateful for remembering to be kind to myself.
4. I am grateful to my daughter for understanding that I need help stretching my legs to reach full recovery, and for taking it upon herself to help me get there.
5. I am grateful for the examples set by friends who have been married for over 25 years and are still very much in love.
Love and light.