Last night, I started feeling crummy, and by the time I got home earlier than usual from a dance night, my voice was gone and I was clammy.
Trying to figure out why my perfectly healthy body seemed to be having a meltdown, I settled on a couple of things. First, I am probably not doing a complete disconnect when I do a healing (Heather had a migraine yesterday and I did a distance healing for her). Second, I am stressing over getting everything done: homework, daily writing, everything else I need to do before I leave my job, home stuff…and my body finally said “Enough!” and did a minor shut down.
After a fitful night’s sleep in which I must have moved from bed to couch and back at least 3 times, I got up a little before 8, made a cup of tea with the manatee tea ball I’d gotten for my birthday and sat down to do some writing. 2700 words later, I’m still on track to meet my November 30, 50,000 word goal. I also finished my homework, and, after checking in at work, put in a couple of hours there as well to respond to some pressing issues.
I still got a nap in, ate the entire container of oatmeal cookies Heather brought me, watched a Christmas movie while snuggling the cats, and got Loki her meds both times today.
But really the best part of the day was discovering that, even when I’m feeling under the weather, I still have the discipline to sit down and write at least a couple of thousand words. Had it not been for the need to spend time finishing my homework, and the issues I needed to respond to for work, I’d have very likely written over 4000 words today (and the night is still young!) I am definitely ready to have whole days when the only responsibility I have is to add words to my latest project! Every opportunity I get to prove this to myself gives me that much more confidence in the decision I’ve made!
I love the fact that I do keep getting signs and reminders that I am truly on the right track and that whatever I do now is going to take me exactly where I want and need to go! Even on a day like this when, by all rights, I should have been plopped in front of the tv, or wrapped up in a book with a cup of tea and my cats, I just couldn’t sit still, doing nothing like that. I had to be creating or accomplishing most of the day!
I had something interesting happen over the last few days, though, and it gave me pause, including a bit of negative thinking before I gave myself permission to let it go and move one.
A few years ago, I was friends with another single mom from the band boosters. She’d had a couple of issues and asked for my help which I gladly gave. We stayed in touch until she met a man and started dating. Suddenly, she seemed to forget my existence. At the time I was pretty hurt by it all, and though she’s on my Facebook list, she rarely even acknowledges my existence, even when I ask a direct question. I had pretty much written this woman off when, out of the blue, I receive an email saying “I’ve finally published a book after six years, etc. etc. etc.” with a link on where I could buy it!
I guess I found it odd that she could ignore me until she felt I could be useful to her again. After my initial bout of irritation, I took a step back, sent her good thoughts for the success of her book and focused my attention back onto what is important to me.
Will I send her a similar email when my first book is published? Probably not. But maybe she’ll see me promoting it amongst all of the people who have been encouraging me on Facebook and check it out herself. While I will appreciate it if she does, just as I will appreciate the attention it gets from every single person who might check it out, I won’t give it any thought if she chooses to pass on it as I’m passing on her invitation to check hers out. (to be honest, I’m reading nothing except work stuff and homework stuff right now until I finish the NaNoWriMo challenge! I just don’t have time for the distractions!)
Once again, I’m reminded to be mindful of the saying: “People won’t remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.” And I’m working on weaving more random acts of kindness into my daily activities.
Speaking kindly and respectfully to a sales clerk, holding a door open for someone, or any little thing we might do really does go a long way. We truly do not know what is going on in that young woman who served us our coffee, or the checker at the grocery store’s lives, but whether their life is rough or smooth, or somewhere in between, the smile on their face when you take a moment to truly show an interest in them as a person is priceless! Though many people treat them like they’re simply another store fixture, does that mean we all must?
I used to marvel at how some of my friends seemed to really know the people who worked where they shopped. Now, I realize that it was because, wherever they went, they treated everyone like they were important (and they are!). I’m so glad that I finally understand what many tried to show me by example. It’s made the simple act of running my weekly errands a lot more joyful!
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that I have so many opportunities to be kind.
2. I am grateful that I have had so many wonderful examples which, once I opened my eyes, have always been there to teach me, if only I’m willing to learn.
3. I am grateful that I am still on track to meet the 50,000 word deadline at the halfway point.
4. I am grateful for all of the people who encourage me, even if some might think I’m completely crazy.
5. I am grateful for my daughter who, whatever the challenge, always rises to meet it. She is a shining example of believing in yourself and doing what makes you happy.
Love and light.