Back when I was working a regular job and having to be up by 7:00 to get out the door by 8:00, I could easily have slept until at least 9:00 and been perfectly happy.  A real sleeping in day could see me dragging myself out of bed around 10 or even 11.  But now that I’m self-employed again, I seem to have changed my sleeping habits for the better.

Sure, I’m still going to bed around 12 or 1, but sleeping in, these days, might be 7:45 instead of 7 or 7:30.  Even when I feel like I’ve slept the whole day away, a glance at the clock tells me that it’s just after 8!  I’m not sure why this change has occurred, but I am not going to complain.  I like having more of the day to do the things I want and need to do.  (and the cats are thrilled that they get their morning canned food closer to what they were used to when I was leaving the house to work!)

I realize that part of it is Toby, waking me as soon as the sky begins to lighten, and becoming more insistent until, some mornings, I just kick him out of my room, but even then, I would have slept far longer than I wanted to.  Not any more!  My body seems to know that I really don’t want to sleep the day away, and if I go on for too long, I either get twinges in my knee or my head which are always improved by just getting up!

The only thing I can determine is that I love my new life so much that I don’t want to spend too much of it sleeping!  Even on the cruise, when I was staying out past 1 AM, I was up every morning by about 6:30!  I did very little sitting around, and a lot of hanging with my friends, seeing shows, dancing, and even karaoke! 

If this is what following my passion looks like, I really do wish I’d done it sooner, even knowing that I made the change at exactly the right time for me!

I’ve been getting a lot of signs from the Universe that some kind of partnership is in my near future, and the signs are getting more and more insistent.  It isn’t entirely clear whether the partnership will be romantic or business, but I do find myself more open to having someone in my life again.  However, I am still trash talking myself in my mind on occasion.  This morning, I found myself thinking “nobody would really want to see this body as it is right now”, but this time, I immediately scolded myself for being mean to the most important person in my life!  The truth is, someone who cares more about looks isn’t the right person for me anyway.  Sure, I could lose all of the weight I need to and get myself into near perfect shape, but if I’m doing it just to attract someone, and know that I’d have to remain very diligent in order to hold their interest, that would be a very shallow relationship. 

Being happy with myself, no matter what, has been a long road.  That doesn’t mean I won’t still make improvements, but it means that the improvements I make are for my benefit, not someone else’s. 

I also find that, unlike before, if I’m in the middle of a task, and see something that really needs to be taken care of, I’ll just add it on and do it, whereas, a few months ago, I’d be more likely to say “Oh, I’ll do it later!”.  And you all know how soon “later” comes! 

However, I have yet to figure out how to avoid obsessing over things which are: 1. Not in my control and 2. Not really my concern. 

I suppose that the best to avoid it is to just keep busy or do something physical (because of my knee, I’m giving myself another day off from the gym, but will be dancing for the next two nights).  So, this is me, working on bills, taxes and my book today, to get my mind off the obsessions!

My gratitudes today are:
1. I am grateful for improved habits.
2. I am grateful to have lost the pound and a half I gained on the cruise just a day later.
3. I am grateful for the love and support of my family and friends as I continue on with my leap of faith.
4. I am grateful for my continued faith in the Universe to put the hows in place while I continue to focus on the end result.
5. I am grateful for my readers who really do make a difference in how much I write!

Love and light.

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