Sitting here tonight after staying up too late lounging in front of the tv, playing on the ipad and cuddling with the kitties, my first thought, blog-wise, is that I don’t feel like I have much to impart tonight, but for the sake of consistency and my ultimate goal to actually write and publish a book or twelve, I sit and allow the creative juices to flow, or, for lack of creative juices, I’ll settle for mindless babble.
While getting my nails done tonight, the subject of blessings came up. Without meaning to, I might have unwittingly minimized the gratitude my manicurist expressed for the blessings which had her going to work at this particular salon at just the right time to enable her to build a healthy clientele. I told her, in all honesty, that she is the sort of person who is conscientious and pleasant and a few other complimentary and true things, to make a go of what she does. But I have to admit, she is also correct in being grateful for the blessings which are part of who she is, and which led her to be in the right place at the right time with the right skill set. I should know better than to minimize either the blessings or the gratitude. That is not to say that she doesn’t have all of the wonderful attributes I mentioned and many more that I didn’t but being grateful for those blessings attracts more, so who am I to put a stick in the wheel of her gratitude? I am grateful for the example she sets but also for this new opportunity to learn a lesson, or really, to get better at walking the walk.
One of the paths I had vague hopes might open up is not showing signs of doing so, but frankly, I’m not so sure that it would have really been a beneficial path for me as it would really have been just more of the same but in different digs. That sounds a lot like a rut to me, and I certainly enjoy moving forward far too much to let myself dig a hole and crawl into it! I am grateful that, although I put the thought out to the Universe, I left the how, when and why wide open, knowing that whatever They came up with would far exceed my hopes, dreams and expectations. I often refer back to the quote “when one door closes…” but in this case, the door was a wall and wasn’t meant to open. In fact, I was meant to keep moving forward because the doorway is still up ahead. As I had posited, the strange dream I had the other night is dropping more hints as the days go by. In the dream, there were walls where doors should be. I believe, now, that the dream was telling me that I need to go further before I find those doors through which I will pass, but in the meantime, I can make the most of where I am to learn and continue growing. The cabinets are storage to continue amassing knowledge. The cooperative efforts are just that. The terra cotta pots I got which were different than anyone else’s are the different path I am and will be walking in the near future. The number five may or may not prove significant and the fact that one of the pots changed into a kitten tells me that I’ll need to be flexible as things may not be as they seem, or may not turn out exactly as planned, but will definitely be something I’ll like even better.
The cluttered office and my refusal to accept anyone else’s stuff seems to indicate that I will be walking a path which won’t allow space for anyone else’s load or baggage, at least for the time being. I believe that I still have my own clutter to either clear or organize and cannot be distracted by other people’s activities insofar as they are unrelated to where I’m going and what I need to do. Of course, this leaves me a lot of latitude to include people and their “stuff” when it does relate to what I’m doing and where I’m going!
I trust that this increasing clarity will continue to show itself to me in bits and pieces for awhile. That dream just felt significant to me. I also expect to see some clarifications in other dreams which are yet to come. Just as long as they don’t play the Ghost of Christmas past, present and future with me! That would be just a bit too freaky for my taste! But I think I manage to recognize the messages I get, at least as messages if not their full meaning, without being whacked over the head or dragged back through all of the apparent wrong turns and missteps I’ve taken on the path to where I am now, and to where I am meant to be.
A friend put up a post today asking for help in writing down her strengths and accomplishments. If I had been standing in front of her when she asked the question, I know my jaw would have hit the floor as this is one of the most accomplished, most giving people I am privileged to know! It also made me think about what I would write were I given the same task, and I have to admit, I’d be hard-pressed to come up with more than a couple of things. Whereas, in her case, it’s mostly her humility, in mine, there just isn’t that much that I’d consider accomplishments or, what I read that to be as things I’ve given to the world.
Sure, I went to school at night to finish my degree, but how many others have done just that and more? Yes, I raised my daughters by myself for the most part, but had a lot of help along the way, but again, many people have done the same. So, I, too, would be hard pressed to answer the question. Or maybe the real point is that I still have time to make a positive impact on the world and on other peoples’ lives so I need to start.
My list of things to meditate on is definitely growing these days. I have “I am Source”,. loving, kindness, forgiveness, acceptance, gratitude and a clear vision of my path. I know there are more, but this, alone, is quite a bit to fit into the hour meditation I do nearly every day. I suppose I’ll have to break it up into smaller, more manageable chunks.
Once again, for someone who had nothing to say, I managed to fill a page or two, but the hour is late and my eyes are beginning to burn while my body yearns for the comfort of my bed (and the cats are getting restless).
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for insight.
2. I am grateful for things which make me think.
3. I am grateful for lessons, both large and small.
4. I am grateful for my teachers who come in many shapes and sizes and often appear in unexpected places.
5. I am grateful for a warm, comfortable, kitty filled bed in which to rest, sleep and rejuvenate.
Love and light.