This should be a shorter post than usual as I arrived home later from dancing than I’d planned, and by the time I’d given Loki her fluids, chatted with my son-in-law for a bit and did my usual futzing on the computer, it was after midnight and I hadn’t made my breakfast and lunch for tomorrow or set up the coffee pot. So here I sit, at just past 1 AM, still wound as tight as a watch spring, and determined to be consistent here, if nowhere else.
It was an interesting, scattered day today. Everything I picked up took three times as long as it should have due to interruptions, sidetracks and assorted other maladies designed to derail the unsuspecting. The auditor who was visiting was actually the least of my concerns. She showed up as planned, was shown to the office we have set aside for just such a purpose, began going through the piles of documents I’d had pulled for her and really only asked one question of me all day. It was all of the other office activities which, if nothing else, make life interesting.
A friend called me out for my use of words like “shielding” and “protection” from last night’s post, essentially pointing out that they were not really words which describe my outlook these days. In some ways, she is right. The light which guides my path these days is there to guide me away from any obstacles and to a way which will always be clear for me, just as the light which shines from me is there to guide others where their path will always be clear. When I make use of the word “shield”, it is not so much for protection as to limit the amount of stimulus I receive from the outside world. My daughters and I have found that we are quite sensitive to the emotions of other people and the closer we are to them, the more we pick up if we don’t, in a sense, seal ourselves off from what we don’t need to experience. The shielding we do is somewhat selective, but if someone needed to get our attention, they could and would. We also don’t typically shield ourselves from our friends and loved ones, although there are times when someone is having a good wallow when we don’t need to share.
Just as we wear sunglasses to shield our eyes from the excessive glare of the sun, or ear protection if we are around something exceptionally loud like an airplane engine or a gun, the shields we erect are protection from excessive amounts of emotion. This is the best I can manage to explain something which, unless you’ve experienced an emotional onslaught comparable to a New York subway during rush hour, won’t really make much sense. Suffice it to say that the absence of a filter or shield for some of the emotions we would normally feel, and not just feel but experience, we would be overburdened by not only the every day emotions our fellow humans experience, but all of the extremes as well. And so, we shield, to protect ourselves from emotional overload and ensure that we can maintain our positive, joyful personal emotional state.
There are certainly times when we’ll lower those shields to better enable us to help someone or a situation, but the fact that we do keep the shields in place most of the time ensures that when we do lower the shields, we still have the sensitivity to separate what we’re feeling into individuals and to determine which ones are really asking for help and which are simply putting their thoughts out there. One thing I learned long ago is that it is very poor form to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. In fact, proper protocol is to ask permission of the person’s guide or Higher Self before initiating any assistance. And yes, there have been times when I have been told in no uncertain terms to butt out. I have a great respect for those who decline assistance because they are focused on facing the challenge on their own so that they can master a lesson and move on to other things. I’ve been in that situation far too many times myself to lack an understanding of the need to manage our own processes. In fact, as time goes on and I encounter different situations, I’m learning when I needn’t even bother to ask because a person IS on their own learning curve.
The moral of this story is, if I allow my fingers to write independent of my brain, I need to be prepared to revisit what they’ve decided to impart and perhaps even offer clarification at a later date.
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for friends who remind me to maintain my focus.
2. I am grateful for late dance nights, despite the hour or so of sleep I’ll sacrifice as a result.
3. I am grateful for my cats who make sure I never feel completely alone, and who plant themselves in the kitchen while I’m running back and forth as a reminder to slow down and pet the kitty!
4. I am grateful for busy social weekends which seem to be becoming the norm rather than the exception.
5. I am grateful for the warm, soft bed which is waiting for me as soon as I finish this post.
Love and light.