Things That Make Me Go Hmmmm

A fellow member of a freelancer’s mastermind group shared a post today which really got me to thinking. Then I watched a TEDx video my daughter shared about an autistic boy genius whose mother took her own leap of faith and pulled him out of mainstream education. Autistic Boy Genius Thrives Outside of Mainstream Education Having passed the two-year mark of my own leap of faith which led to quitting my job, writing what is now 3 novel drafts, joining a critique group and finally, pitching a story to a magazine, I realized what motivated me two years ago isn’t the same any more.

In the first place, I left the soul-draining work behind me. I’m no longer at someone else’s beck and call in exchange for a paycheck. I’ve now been through a couple of on-line courses on freelancing and have read countless papers, posts and books on the subject. I’ve realized that the novel writing, at least initially, isn’t going to feed and shelter me and my furry roommates. But most of all, I’m developing tools, via other avenues which will aid me in publishing and marketing those novels once they’re completed.

Re-inventing Myself Nearly Every Day

I’m also learning that those dreams with which I began are, rather than being engraved in stone, drawn in sand at the ocean’s edge where they are washed away to be redrawn with new thoughts, ideas and purpose. So what are they today? Does it matter, knowing they’ll change tomorrow or the next day or the next? I think the answer is complicated. The long-term dreams are certainly still valid, but their shapes have changed as I evolve. The short-term ones have either already been reached, leaving room for new ones or they’ve been discarded as my ADD brain takes off in a new direction. But here’s what they look like at this single moment in time:

  • Publish my novels in progress
  • Write more novels and publish them
  • Become self-sustaining financially
  • Become debt-free (and I’ve already eliminated one)
  • Be helpful and encouraging to others be it with writing or just healthy living
  • Buy a piece of land near the beach where I can live. Plant fruit trees or other food producing crops and build cabins where I can invite my artistic-minded friends to come and create when they need to get away from their familiar environment and all its inherent distractions.
  • Do a TED talk
  • Write articles for magazines and other publications
  • Write and publish short stories
  • Make generous contributions to my favorite charities

I could continue this list into eternity but these are the dreams which are foremost in my mind at this moment in time. Best of all, I’ve set a few of the stepping stones already. I’m writing regularly for another website. I just pitched my first magazine article, and for me, that’s huge. To get published, I have to put myself out there. Whether this one is accepted or rejected, the stone is set. Acceptance means my first magazine article, rejection means I have another lesson under my belt which gives me new knowledge before I pitch the next 1000 or so.

While putting my contacts in this morning, I realized my life has changed quite a bit in the last two years. I’ve simplified quite a bit. I don’t go out as often, but I do take a lot of mini-vacations to visit my daughter. I meditate regularly and, in fact, have come up with book ideas, tightened up pitches and developed blog posts during those meditations. I’ve simplified my life a lot, both by design and through a series of events. Best of all, every challenge, every twist, every rejection is building my confidence. Though I still struggle with finding places to pitch my writing and VA work, I’m growing more confident and have actually put out a dozen pitches in the last 2 weeks! Some have even received positive responses and I expect at least 3 meetings in the next couple of weeks.

Best of all, I’ve joined three other freelancers for a mastermind group. We all have Alternative Health as one of our niches, but approach it from different directions. Meanwhile, we encourage and support each other with a weekly chat, and ongoing help and suggestions (like the idea for this post. Thank you, Rob!) In fact, here’s a link to the post which inspired this one. Living the Dream

Am I Really Living My Dream?

If you consider the fact that I wrote about leaving my accounting job at the time and writing full-time 10 years ago, but didn’t make the leap until 2 years ago, then yes, I am living my dream. Though I would have to say, I’m not exactly living my dream, but one of them. I took the first step towards living a dream which actually began in childhood, but was lost for awhile in the mindset of “making a living” instead of “making a life”.

Funny, my mom used to tell my daughters “You can be anything you want to be except a daddy.” Yet, that’s not the message she gave her daughters. Instead, she pushed us to succeed and to marry well (from my perspective, I failed at both) which in her mind meant to marry a man who was ambitious and financially successful. Now I realize that success isn’t measured by anyone’s yardstick but mine, and that it isn’t one, giant accomplishment at all. Success can be as simple as getting up in the morning and making the bed. It can be publishing the first novel or the 100th. For me, it’s not climbing the corporate ladder, but for some folks, it is.

There are days I spend sitting in front of the computer in my pajamas writing, researching or studying all day. For me, those are wonderful, productive, dream-fulfilling days. For others, it’s no more than self-indulgent sloth. That’s only their choice, not a reflection on my choice. I don’t judge myself by standards like that any more than I judge myself by the successes of J.K. Rowlings, Nora Roberts or Stephen King.

Even as I sit here typing, I think of more dreams to add to my list and know that if I were to continue writing this post for another hour or two, the list would be quite long, indeed. Instead, I’m going to continue the list of gratitudes I began when I woke this morning to Toby smacking my arm to get his morning skritches.

1. I am grateful for my independence.
2. I am grateful for the new ideas constantly flowing into my head, sometimes so fast I can hardly write them down before 10 more fly through.
3. I am grateful for wonderful, inspiring, supportive friends; not only the ones who’ve been there for much of my current journey but for the new ones along the way who truly understand what this journey entails.
4. I am grateful for a job which is so flexible I can do it morning, noon or night, at home, in a coffee shop, at my daughter’s or any place I can plug in my laptop or set my iPad.
5. I am grateful for abundance: ideas, intentions, support, suggestions, new avenues, old standbys, my furry roommates, love, motivation, inquisitiveness, lessons, ideas, imagination, peace, harmony, philanthropy and prosperity.

Write On!

I invite you to visit my Facebook pages, Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author and HLWT Accounting. Please also check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!