You’d Really Think I’d Know Better by Now
Today I let myself get sucked into watching another of those free 90 minute webinars (although this one droned on and ended up lasting over 2 hours!) knowing full well that somewhere during the time I was wasting there would be a sales pitch for more of the same, only better, for the meager sum of $297…$397…$497… I guess there’s a psychological logic to the ’97’ part as if our brain says Well, I’m not really spending $300…$400…$500 so it must be ok. These folks were more clever than most though. They provided some useful information for the second 60 minutes or so (the first 30 was spent talking about how wonderful their life is, which also seems to be de rigeur lately) before rather subtly, though with the use of a logo which blended into the color of the screen (a bit reminiscent of the subliminal effects in Exorcist where they inserted things into less frames than the human eye needs to transmit the image to the brain) launching into the expected sales pitch.
This same entity wants me to participate in an 8 hour long event on Thursday (do people really give up an entire day after today’s less-than-exciting experience?) using a free iPad with their meditations pre-loaded as the carrot, but only if you stick it out for the full 8 hours and only one! Sorry, but the smart money wouldn’t have even participated in today’s technically bankrupt example of their wares, much less sit through their droning for 8 full hours. OK, so I wasn’t the smart money today, and yes, I should know better by now.
To add insult to injury, I found myself, earlier this evening, slipping into my pity party dress and gearing up for a full on whine fest. I thought I’d yanked myself away before it was too late until I found myself in front of the TV with a container of guacamole and a bag of chips (granted, it was the greek yogurt guac from Trader Joe’s and their veggie/flaxseed chips, but still not the best dinner) and followed it up with almost half a carton of Salted Caramel Gelatto. Clearly, the pity party had to run its course, whether I liked it or not.
Losing Sight of What’s Important
The culprits in this drama are many but the responsible party is only me. I’ve been chasing the almighty buck, unsuccessfully, I might add, because the sight of my dwindling funds was starting to frighten me. In so doing, I’d lost sight of what I discovered when I gave up the copywriting course. I have to love what I’m doing, and do it for the right reasons before I’ll start meeting my needs. When I make it all about money, the Universe can and will kick my butt and be as unsupportive as possible until I get myself back on track.
Thankfully, my trusty cheerleader and butt kicker put it all back into perspective for me today. It’s not enough that I’ve finished the first draft of two novels, the first revision on one of them and have started revising my children’s book. No, I need to actually finish something and go through the process of publishing it. Thus, my agenda will now consist of editing and revising, working on Holly Lisle’s writing course which somehow got shoved to the side, studying the books I have on writing, plot development and such and putting the blogging for money on hold…for now.
I will, however, take time to be more supportive of the bloggers I’m following as that can be helpful on many levels, especially since many of them are writers too, some of whom have already been published at least once.
By the Light of the Gemini Moon
The full moon in my own birth sign is the perfect time to, once again, ask for help in releasing all which doesn’t serve me. The most important thing I need to release is limiting behavior and limiting beliefs. But I also need to let go of all things procrastination, and all things which keep me from my regular workouts. My list of priorities (in no particular order) is as follows:
Body: Get to the gym at least three times a week, dance at least twice, and move frequently in between times. Also, start eating the pre-made meals in my freezer and intersperse it with smoothies made with the fresh veggies and fruits I’m getting.
Mind: Write, edit, revise and study.
Spirit: Meditate regularly, go out in nature, spend time with my cats.
I’ve also added two new stickies to my growing collection: “I am Empowered” and “I receive everything I need to move ahead with creativity and inspiration”. With the help of my stickies, my friendly butt-kicker and my own preference for positivity, I will climb out of the abyss, leave the whining behind and actually become productive again. This whiny, pathetic, self-pitying person is no longer me, and I will not allow her to creep back into my life and ruin all I’ve worked so hard to achieve. So this is me, drop kicking old Negative Nellie to the curb! Let the work of being an author begin!
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for friends who tell me what I need to hear instead of what they think I want to hear.
2. I am grateful for a day of wallowing because it shows me a place I never want to return to.
3. I am grateful for additions to my book collection which will serve me well in the coming weeks.
4. I am grateful for ambition which, though it sometimes takes a beating, is still down there, crying to be recognized and fed.
5. I am grateful for abundance: drive, determination, purpose, love, joy, happiness, peace, harmony, health, prosperity and philanthropy.
I hope you’ll take a moment to visit my Facebook pages at https://www.facebook.com/SheriLevensteinConawayAuthor?ref=aymt_homepage_panel and https://www.facebook.com/HLWTAccounting . Please also drop by my website, www.shericonaway.com and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!