It’s finally here!  The first weekend of my year long class in healing!  I’m gathering what I need tonight so I don’t have to stress or worry in the morning.  I’ll just eat a good breakfast, grab my pre-made lunch,  snacks and supplies and be on my way!  In a way, it’s almost like a work day because I still have to have some of the same things ready in the morning.  The only difference is, I get to sleep a little later!

Other than that, I’m scattered to the winds tonight.  Had the last of the tests for the moment so I hope they’ll figure things out by next week.  The test itself wasn’t bad, the stuff I had to drink, not nearly as yukky as the last time, but it took three tries and two people to get the IV in so they could shoot dye into my veins for the “contrast” part.  I got a taste of how Loki feels!  I have a nice bruise on the inside of my right elbow and another on my hand, but they will fade in a few days and there’s no permanent damage done.  I just have a body that doesn’t like things poked into its veins, either to insert or extract! 

This body of mine has a few simple rules:
   1. Do not poke it with needles.
   2. Do not attempt to remove anything from it (especially blood!)
   3. Do not offer it chemicals of any kind, especially antibiotics!
   4. Give it lots of fresh fruits and veggies.
   5. Give it lots of exercise.
   6. Give it sufficient rest.
   7. Give it plenty of stress relieving activity (dancing, kitty cuddling, sunshine)

Pretty smart body, I’d say.  Now, if the brain would just listen better! 

All of us really have smart bodies, but we let our cravings and our less than healthy habits override the sanity sometimes.  We put sugar in the gas tank of what should be a finely tuned machine.  We fail to properly lubricate the joints when we don’t move enough.  As humans, we are experts at self-sabotaging behavior despite the fact that listening to our inner machine really takes a lot less effort and sacrifice than we want to admit. 

I am the queen of self-sabotaging behavior.  I have to really fight with myself to keep from talking myself out of gym visits.  Despite having a refrigerator full of fruits and vegetables, I still take the longer walk to the freezer for frozen yogurt (which, admittedly is better than ice cream, but not as good as a pear!). 

But I’ve also learned that breaking the cycle of self-sabotage is a process.  It means setting intentions and allowing yourself to form healthier habits.  It means accepting the fact that you’re going to slip at times and, instead of beating yourself up, then comforting yourself with more bad behavior, you learn to forgive yourself, then get right back on track.

I took a few days where I came home from work and parked my butt in front of the TV.  Then I got back to my better habits of an hour or two of TV, then some chores, walking around the house, reading, working on the computer, maybe organizing something.  It takes just a little bit to get up off of that couch and do something, anything else! 

Tonight, I downloaded iTunes on my computer so I could have access to the music I’d purchased and installed on my iPhone and iPad.  I got my things ready for tomorrow’s class.  I will head into the kitchen soon to make a healthy salad for tomorrow’s lunch and I’ll scoop the sandboxes so my little darlings have a clean place to do their business.  All in all, I’ve again limited the amount of sitting doing virtually nothing, and the incredible machine I call my body is thanking me for it.

Small things. 

Seemingly inconsequential things. 

Minor changes. 

Baby steps. 

Like anything else in our lives, we don’t have to change with world with everything we do.  We don’t have to be the richest, most powerful, most philanthropic, most creative.  Our success is not measured against that of anyone else.  Our success means achieving our own goals.  It means setting that one good habit.  It means whatever is important to us:  no more, no less.

I used to feel embarrassed when other people would talk about how their children were at the top of their class, extraordinary athletes, artists or musicians, got into the best schools….yadda, yadda, yadda.  I finally realized that I had nothing to be embarrassed about.  I gave the girls the best I knew how and a lot of my time.  They have grown up to be what they value and are true to themselves.  As far as I’m concerned, that’s success.  My daughter, Heather, has more social consciousness than I do and, in whatever way she can, she finds ways to help those less fortunate, to care about the environment and to help make the world a better place for all of its inhabitants, regardless of their species.  I’ve learned a great deal from her and gotten involved in humanitarian activities because of her.  She is a wonderful example.  She hasn’t achieved her life goals yet, and has a whole basketful of them!  But she knows what she wants and that she has to prioritize.  As far as I’m concerned, she’s very successful! 

The true keys to a successful life are:
  1. Listen to your body.
  2. Listen to your heart.
  3. Set goals for yourself.
  4. Allow the goals you set to manifest.
  5. Be true to yourself.
  6. Love yourself
  7. Measure yourself against your own standards, not those of someone else. 
  8. Forgive yourself.
  9. Know that you are not just a part of the Whole, you are the Whole.
 10. Keep thoughts, words and deeds positive.

I know I’ll be letting go of a lot of old habits and beliefs over the next twelve months.  I know it will shake up my life, but I also know that it will clear old baggage and allow me to be an even better me than I have been so far.  I also know that I have been on a path to self-improvement for quite awhile and I’m ready to sweep out the dust and debris I’ve accumulated in the process.

A friend was telling me about the witch’s broom she uses on the full moon to sweep out the negative, used energy and sweep in the positive, new energy.  I’ve captured that visual in my mind and will hold it as I begin the process of personal decluttering tomorrow.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for new beginnings.
2. I am grateful for my successes, big and small.
3. I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, and those I’ve yet to learn.
4. I am grateful for opportunities to get closer to my goals.
5. I am grateful that the medical tests are done, at least for a little while.

Love and light

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