Tonight, many of us from the dance community were given pause to think about how much we are blessed.  Although most of the people I am closest too won’t see 50 again, we’re all in reasonably good health, aside from a few aches and pains which go along with bodies that are active and used often.  Some in the group have more serious concerns, but all are able to manage them. 

But as we are aging, we are facing the reality that some members of our community are going to be facing serious and sometimes life threatening health issues.  That reality can arise anywhere, any time.  So, as we stood there discussing one person’s journey, we also counted our own blessings and expressed gratitude for our continued good health while sending thoughts of love and healing to those less fortunate. 

While I’m feeling some trepidation about the test I will be undergoing on Monday, I feel confident that nothing out of the ordinary will come out of it.  I have had numerous dreams involving grandchildren and times in the distant future, so I don’t feel that my time is anywhere near.

But really, do any of us, aside from those who take matters into their own hands, truly have the ability to sense that we are coming to the end of our current cycle?  If we did, wouldn’t we ensure that all of our affairs were in order?  And if we did get some kind of sign, would we give it any merit or would we just figure that we were imagining things.

I don’t think knowing how long you have in your current human existence is something any of us needs to know, if for no other reason than that it would likely inhibit any goal setting or striving we might do otherwise. 

If I knew that my time would be up in a year, two years, five, what kind of effort would I make to ensure that I leave the mark on the world I believe is mine to leave?  Would I just chuck it all, or would I drop everything else and focus all of my efforts on that goal?  Would I overlook a whole bunch of steps that really needed to be taken first in my hurry to get everything I thought needed to be done before my time came?

I think we need to live our lives, making our plans, setting our goals and pursuing them in the fashion we normally would, blissfully unaware of when our plug might be pulled.  Otherwise, we might miss something really important in our hurry to accomplish everything, or conversely, we might just give it all up and decide that it wasn’t worth it to put forth the effort if we weren’t going to be around long enough to enjoy it,

Either way, this is one time when I believe that ignorance is bliss.  I want to continue believing that I have plenty of time to establish my habits one by one, taking all the time I need to set each new one. 

I want to continue believing that I can set a goal that will take me a year to achieve, and that will just be a stepping stone for a whole bunch of other things I want to do and will discover after I have a few more lessons under my belt.

I want to believe that I’ll be here to love each one of my cats to the end of his or her life, and may still adopt others as my brood thins. 

I want to believe that I will be here to love and spoil the grandchildren who have not yet been born, to observe all of their graduations and special events, and be present at their weddings. 

I want to believe that my life’s purpose, which is still struggling to push through the soil, will be fulfilled beyond anything I can currently imagine.

And I want to continue to count my blessings, even as I discover more.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the continued good health of myself, my friends and my family.
2. I am grateful for the plethora of blessings in my life.
3. I am grateful for friends who are loving, compassionate, sensitive and connected.
4. I am grateful for aches and pains that remind me both that I am alive and that I need to take good care of myself.
5. I am grateful for hopes and dreams and goals and plans and things to look forward to, even if I don’t know what all of them are right now.

Love and light.