I thought I lived in a nice, middle class neighborhood with an elementary school in the center and a mix of renters and homeowners all around.  Some of my neighbors bought their homes when they were new, some 50 years ago, while other homes have seen many owners, even in the years I’ve been there.  Overall, people are respectful of each others’ property, aside from small spates of thefts we’ve had a couple of times, but in the 30 years I’ve lived here, it’s a pretty small amount, all things considered. 

In the last few days, however, I’ve become less certain of that respectfulness.  On two occasions, I’ve had to call the city to report graffiti on my pod, from a very small amount a few days ago, to a very blatant rendition today.  Although I did not recall previous incidents, my daughter recalls an attack on our garage a few years ago, and has seen various offenses on block walls around the neighborhood.  But I can’t help but wonder if there’s a reason my house has been targeted all of a sudden?  Unfortunately, I don’t come into contact with these “artists” nor do I understand their motivation or their choice of location for their masterpieces.  However, if their talents do include more than just scrawled letters on other peoples’ property, I’d like to see those talents used to beautify rather than to, essentially, piss on the walls and storage units of others.  There are plenty of places around the city which would benefit from a mural in place of just bare grey stone.  Maybe I’m naive in believing that commissioning some of these folks to actually draw something beautiful which would ultimately be enjoyed and admired by the community rather than becoming part of the police log could convince at least some of them to use their talents for the greater good.  Admittedly, I have no idea how many kids in my community have chosen to become part of the criminal element in the city, nor do I understand why they find it necessary in a quiet, suburban area.  I know the element does exist or the city wouldn’t have an extremely responsive task force in place to deal with the problem. 

What I do see is that whoever is doing this is crying out to be loved, just as surely as those who spend their time trying to spread misery verbally.   However you look at it, doing anything ugly, be it by behaviour or by action, is still an expression of a need and a desire for love. 

When I saw the first incident, my first reaction was anger, and when the second incident was so blatant and bold, taking up nearly half of the end of the pod, I again experienced an initial spurt of anger.  But as I reflect upon the situation, I am more saddened by this person or persons’ need, the way they are crying out, but don’t expect to be heard.  I want them to know that I am sending them love and light, not anger and darkness.  I don’t pretend to understand their motivation or the difficulties they face in their lives but I want for them all of the love that they need and desire, and to never have to wonder or suffer the lack again. 

A friend of mine is very good about reminding me that we are given challenges so that we deal with our own personal demons and learn to love ourselves completely so that we can spread that love around freely and completely.  It isn’t always easy to not resort to anger, fear, resentment and frustration.  If it were easy, it would not be a challenge and the lessons we’re meant to learn wouldn’t all stick.   Thus, I see this latest intrusion into my sometimes insular world as a reminder that once I think I’ve mastered a lesson, I’ll be sent more. 

As a drop in the Universal sea of souls, the better, kinder, more loving drop I am, the better, kinder and more loving the entire sea will be.  It is certainly much harder to be loving while receiving disrespect and abuse, but that is when it is most needed.  It is also when the results will take longer to manifest and where the lessons of patience and perseverance are best learned. 

Love and light

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