I realize it’s out of character, but I really haven’t had a lot to say the last couple of days.  Aside from going to the gym with my daughter, a dance lesson and a couple of errands, I’ve pretty much been playing hermit.

After my last ART class, it became apparent that I needed to put some time into doing research into the Kabbalah, so, one of yesterday’s errands was to stop at the local book store and pick up a couple of books.

The first one I’ve been reading seems to be taking a more Christian viewpoint, but does have some good information into the history and the basic tenets.  I read it first because I had a feeling it was going to raise more questions than it answered, and because there was something about it I disliked from the beginning, and as a result, I knew I had to get through it.  By reading it first, the other two books I bought become my reward for sticking it  out. 

Have you ever done that?  Taken a task or a book or something which you knew you weren’t really into but somehow felt you needed to get out of the way before you got to the really good stuff?  Were you glad you took the time to get the job done or did you feel like it was really a waste? 

Life gives us many opportunities to learn, and many of them are not what I would call enjoyable experiences.  Even so, the lessons we take away are valuable, no matter what we had to go through to learn them, and, for me anyway, the harder they were to get through, the more pain they caused, the deeper the imprint they left on my psyche, the better I remembered the lesson.

Maybe that’s why I have so much trouble with patience.  Sure, I’ve gotten slapped down for my impatience, but most of the lessons I’ve received on the subject have been relatively benign.  Not that I’m asking for a painful, memorable lesson in patience!  Trust me!  I know it’s something I need to learn, and am constantly working on learning it.  So, save the pain for something I am not actively trying to learn. 

As I become more social, I’m seeing my friends going through their own versions of life’s lessons, and I see quiet strength manifest itself in a variety of ways.  I find that I am constantly impressed by how one or another of them rises to the occasion when life pushes them into a wall. 

That isn’t to say that I don’t bite my tongue at times, when it seems to me that they could be heading for more hurt.  If I’ve learned nothing else in the last few years, it’s that people need to make their own choices, and unsolicited advice is seldom welcome.  Besides, there’s a pretty good chance that I’m wrong anyway, if for no other reason than that I am not privy to all of the pertinent details. 

Even more, everyone has the right to learn what they need to in their own way, and my well-meaning attempt to spare them harm might actually do more harm rather than less! 

Thankfully, for me, age has brought some wisdom, though I’d hardly call myself wise.  But I have learned that there is definitely a time to keep my thoughts to myself and just be loving and supportive, and to fill myself with positive energy and visions of the most beautiful outcome possible for the people I know and love, and for those I am learning to know and love.

Above all, I am grateful that I am perfect in my imperfectness for this moment in time.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the people who help me learn new things, whether or not they are even aware of their part in my education.
2. I am grateful for all of the new examples of qualities I want to learn.
3. I am grateful for the feedback I’ve been getting lately from people I both respect and admire.
4. I am grateful for the changes in my life, the manifestations I’m enjoying and the knowledge that I will always have exactly what I need, and at least a few of the things I want as well.
5. I am grateful for the opportunity to get to know new people who are already enriching my life.

Love and light.

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