Today I began my meditation as I have for the past few days with the thought “I am Source”.  What followed was nothing short of an epiphany!

Into my mind came the thought of a person with whom I have come to simply shut down because of his propensity towards talking over everyone and either refusing to listen or categorically proclaiming their contributions to be unnecessary,  unwanted or flat out irrelevant.  As I sat pondering this person’s actions, my reactions and the fact that we are both Source, I realized that what I have been pondering is quite true.  What bothers me in him is a flaw in me!  I, too have been guilty of tuning people out, talking over them and essentially negating the value of what they have to say.  As this thought passed through my mind, a tremendously bright white light filled my mental vision.  Aha!  it said.  Thou hast hit on it!  And at that very moment, I promised myself that I would strive to listen more and speak less, giving everyone’s thoughts and ideas the attention and value they deserve.  There is so much I stand to learn by giving the perceptions of others a chance to be heard.  But not just heard, listened to!

I know that this should be a completely obvious concept to comprehend and on a conscious level, it is.  However, understanding and practicing are often leagues apart!  But the first step to finding a resolution is to recognize that a problem exists.  Thus, I have recognized that my listening skills could bear significant improvement.  The beauty of improving this skill is that not only does it benefit me by making me open my mind to divergent ideas, but it allows me to give something to others by showing them that their insights are valued, at least by me.  It is also possible that by showing them that I value their insights, I might give someone else a chance to improve their listening skills and maybe even learn something new from someone they had, in the past, discounted.  I see this as a Win-Win-Win situation!

This is not to say that I have completely ceased thinking or speaking of certain individuals in uncomplimentary terms, but it is making me more aware of it, and causing me to think before those comments pass my lips.  My ultimate goal is to stop them from occurring in the first place, but I know that will take time to change the habits and establish the new, better ones.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, or, in my case, the dance hall, the laws of attraction continue to yank my chain.  Tonight, while talking to a couple of friends, they mentioned a song they liked to do a couples’ dance called Desperado Wrap to.  When asked if I recognized it, I told them that I rarely get to do that dance, so I don’t pay attention to the songs they play.  Well, what do you think happened?  Of course, you know that for the first time in months, I was asked to dance that particular couples’ dance!  Yes, folks, the “I don’t wants” and the “I don’t get to’s” work just as well as the “I’m grateful that I am’s”!  Not that I want to run my life that way, but be very careful what you wish for!!!  In this case, it worked out wonderfully, but it was a very loud reminder to be very careful what I put out to the Universe as I know from experience that it has a wicked sense of humor!

All in all, it was a delightful evening with many of my friends in attendance, and a couple of birthdays to celebrate, including my friend, Peggy who is a leap year baby.  We had a delightful time teasing her and plying her with chocolate and Cosmos.  I hope her head feels ok in the morning!!  She’s fun in general, but with a bit of a buzz, she’s even more of a hoot than usual!   I stayed until 10, although when Jeff DJ’s, I almost have to because he plays 4-5 two steps, not one, but two (and sometimes three!) couples dances, a WCS and maybe a waltz for good measure between the sets of four or five line dances.  As the lack of men has been extremely pronounced lately, that means that we single girls either fight over the scant few guys there are or sit around for 45 minutes of every hour waiting for the meager line dance set.  Thankfully, he played quite a few high energy dances, and since I got there at 6, I got a few dances in before the lessons and the DJ’ing got underway.  I really want Josh back!  He’s the very best DJ they have and understands not only that he needs to spread the night out as evenly as possible between couples dancing and line dancing, but also that the weird song choices and mind numbingly boring line dances should, for the most part, be saved for the after 10 crowd.  He clearly relates better to the younger crowd, and that’s fine, but the older crowd needs love too!  The good news is, since he DJ’d tonight, we have a decent chance of getting Josh for Saturday night!  I’m crossing fingers, toes and any other body parts I can cross in hopes that my very favorite DJ will be on board for Saturday night! 

Granted, I stayed until my feet were complaining too loudly to dance any more, but am I ever really satisfied?  Do I ever really get all the dancing I want in?  I have worn through the gel soles I have in my boots, though, and need to replace them before Saturday night!  Those suckers are flatter than a pancake after being pressed by a steam roller!  No wonder my feet started whining, the wimps!  I also had to bite my tongue and throw some imaginary heart shaped confetti after asking an older woman if she could move into the large empty space next to her so that the two people on the other side of me would have a bit more room to dance. Her response was “this is MY spot and this is where I dance so I am NOT moving!”  I was dumbfounded!  As if a spot a few feet to the left of where she was standing would make any difference whatsoever!  But this was definitely a warning to remind me to be more sharing on the dance floor and to be willing to give a little even when the kids take to the floor and start getting wild and ignore the fact that there are other people on the dance floor.  Please, Universe, keep me positive so I am the happy, fun older lady instead of the cranky one.  I deserve better and so do the people around me!!!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful (once again) for imaginary heart shaped confetti.
2. I am grateful for wonderful, fun, loving friends.
3. I am grateful for new people joining our happy circle all the time.
4. I am grateful for dancing until my feet cry for mercy.
5. I am grateful for weekends to pursue projects and even find some down time.

Love and light.

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