I woke up this morning feeling rather blue.  I’m not really sure if it was the dream I was having or if my mood caused the dream. 

I was with some kind of large tour group which was broken up into smaller segments for the various activities we participated in.  While waiting for our turn to ride some horses, I wandered off into a huge barn-like structure where I saw a pig in a small crate in someone’s office.  Upon leaving the office, I saw a pen with a whole bunch of pigs.  A lot of the space in this barn seemed to be taken up by large, green metal structures or containers (I couldn’t tell which) and eventually, I found myself lost and unable to find my way back to where I was supposed to be as it all started to look the same. I found a woman working and asked her to help me find my way back.  Once back, I wasn’t content to stay put and started wandering again.  I saw a large metal box laying on its side and somehow knew that it was used for some kind of training and, when upright, could be pushed across the floor.  I asked to try it and a man set it upright, then moved it to an area which was used for this training.  He told me to try to push it 15 yards and that I’d know when I was getting there as the box would slow down.  I actually pushed it quite a ways, but finally stopped, saying that it was harder than it looked.  (I have to add that I started feeling sharp pains in my right knee in the dream, and woke up thinking I’d re-injured it, but once I started moving, the pain abated) 

Subsequent wandering took me to a large room filled with tables.  Someone was handing out hamburgers to one of the smaller groups from the tour.  Not seeing my own group, I grabbed one of the hamburgers and began looking for an isolated place to sit.  Every time I thought I’d found one, some people would sit down near where I was about to go.  I finally just sat down at the end of a table which was temporarily empty and began assembling my burger.  As I put the cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and onions on my burger, people around me began passing me their onions.  I guess eating all of those onions would give me the solitude I was craving, huh?  But they were very friendly about it, not seeming to mind that I would have major onion breath!  It seemed that the more distant I tried to be, the friendlier people around me became, but without being invasive.  Eventually, their kindness and understanding began to win me over and I started chatting with them while we ate. 

I had taken the top piece of bread off of my burger to assemble it, but had what looked like a bagel crisp only soft which I put on top instead.  I noticed that the man beside me had a butter knife and asked where he got it.  He told me I could use it to cut my burger in half (the thing was huge and there was no way I could pick the whole thing up to eat it!)  By then, the chairs around me were filled with people and it no longer seemed to bother me.

As is typical with my recollection of dreams, this one is jumping around.  I remember a scene where there was a tiered tray of what appeared to be pastries.  While helping herself to one, my friend, Peggy, told me that they were a Japanese pastry which wasn’t really very sweet.  Trying to help myself to one, I kept trying to pick one up that was falling apart, and as there were no plates or napkins, I was trying to find one that was neater.  I finally gave up and started wandering around again. 

It seemed that we were in some kind of port with trucks passing back and forth.  Some of them had signs about dog rescue in the area, and animals seemed to be revered and protected.  Both dogs and cats wandered around freely, were very friendly and well cared for.  Conversations with other people seemed to indicate that this was not my first trip of this sort.  We talked about differences between this trip and our last (which wasn’t necessarily the same one for all of us) and I recalled trucks with cat rescue signs on them from the last trip as well as fresh onions and garlic. 

Each of the sub-groups seemed to have a costume and theme.  One group was dressed in the feathered costumes of chorus girls (and, in fact, got on the horseback tour ahead of us).  My group was dressed in cowboy attire, jeans, boots, chaps, vests, etc.  Another group was dressed like lumberjacks in plaid shirts and jeans.  I’m not sure where my subconscious was going with this!!! 

One thing I am getting out of this dream is that I was feeling as if I didn’t belong or fit, which I was, in fact, discussing with my massage therapist yesterday.  In the dream, I believe I was being shown that although I might feel very different, people accepted me for myself and didn’t expect me to fit any particular mold.  In essence, I’m fine the way I am and just because I dress differently, think differently or believe differently, I am in no way an outcast and can be loved just the way I am.  Which makes sense because, frankly, I value my friends for their differences because, if nothing else, it makes for interesting conversations.  In talking to a woman at the mini reunion yesterday, she said that she and her husband were opposites in a lot of ways and preferred it that way.  I remarked that I would agree because I really wouldn’t want to look at my partner and be looking in the mirror at all of my own qualities and faults!  Differences certainly create balance.  If I’m with someone who is as crazy and passionate as I am, it might be fun for awhile, but we quickly burn each other out.  Whereas someone who can be comfortable with my excesses while remaining fairly even tempered most of the time would essentially give me a place to rest and regroup when my passionate energy waned. 

Could it be that in the convoluted manner of most of my dreams, this one has shown me that I can and, in fact, am opening myself up to possibilities I haven’t considered for a very long time?  That I can develop new friendships, consider new ideas and changes to my current path without freaking out about it, and will, in fact, find support, acceptance and loving individuals waiting to help me along that path? 

Yes, indeed.  Changes are coming and they won’t be coming gently.  Some will be global and some will be intensely personal, but they are coming in a tsunami-like wave which will turn some people upside down and inside out while some of us will grab a handy plank and ride out the wave like an expert surfer while yelling “Woo hoo!!!  Bring it on!!!!” 

As this is the first post of the day, I’ll save my gratitudes for this evening’s post.  And I really need to just ponder the implications of my subconscious for awhile.

A beautiful day to all.  (Oh, and I’m no longer feeling blue, but instead, energized!)

Love and light.

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