Today I found myself harboring negative thoughts and words and realized I needed a bit of a tune up. I know that those thoughts and words will attract undesirables, so it is imperative that I halt the cycle before it begins. I began my noon-time meditation by sending positive thoughts and energy to all of the people and situations for which I’d found myself harboring resentment, anger, frustration or any of the multitude of destructive emotions. As I sent positive thoughts to each one, I felt myself growing lighter and more relaxed and at peace. That is not to say that I was able to, in one session, eliminate all negative thoughts and feelings, but I turned myself back from going deeper into the sea of despair and began looking for positive qualities rather than continuing to allow things to irritate and make me crazy.
Despite outward appearances, staying positive is like a good relationship. It takes hard work and diligence to keep from giving up and going with a negative flow. Certainly, some days will be better than others, but with effort, we can make the choice to have good days and better ones rather than good days and bad. Having wallowed in that sea of despair enough times over the years, I am more inclined to notice when I’m starting to backslide and to put forth the effort to get back on my chosen path instead of allowing myself to be dragged down the path of least resistance which will never take me where I really want to go. I also refuse to allow myself to believe that by letting myself be taken down a path not of my own choosing isn’t a choice I’ve made. Rather, it is my own choice to be lazy and allow someone or something else to choose my path for me and just go with the flow. If nothing else, making that choice is going to leave me with lessons I would not normally have chosen for myself, but which are given to me when I relinquish the decision over which path I’m going to follow. That is not to say that when I do choose a path, that I choose the exact course or direction, but more that I choose where I would like to end up and then allow the Universe to set the course so that I gain the experience I will need when I reach that next goal.
Sometimes, that path is straight and direct with few obstacles or misdirections. But more frequently, the path is filled with twists, turns, forks in the road and switchbacks requiring full engagement of my thought processes and learning skills to navigate the challenges. At the end of the day, surprisingly enough, these are the ones I prefer because when I do finally conquer the obstacles, I’m better, stronger and smarter for the experience and ready to take on even greater goals because I have proven to myself that I can navigate the rapids and come out of them warm, dry and filled with a sense of accomplishment.
The path I’m on right now is definitely one filled with twists and turns and an abundance of opportunities for me to give up and coast. Sliding back into negative thoughts is one of those obstacles and is there precisely because I need to learn to recognize the tendency sooner rather than later and take steps to avoid the detour and distraction. It seems, at times, like this particular obstacle is being thrown at me with more than normal frequency which leads me to surmise that it is especially important for me to master the skills necessary to overcome this trap. Clearly, I’ll need to bring a well-established sense of positivity into the next chapter in order to fully appreciate what is waiting for me at the end of this set of lessons. In fact, I’ll take a page from the book of someone who recently wrote that they were going to wrap themselves in a pink bubble of positivity. That way, all negative thoughts, feelings and deeds will just bounce off before they ever get to me and their influence will be positivated.
But now I sit here with my stomach doing somersaults. Is it something I ate or anticipation of the shift? Or could it be my internal precourser to an earthquake? Only time will answer this question for me.
As usual, all great plans are subject to change. Instead of coming home, getting on the Wii and doing my hair, I ended up stopping to pick up some vitamins and sushi, then babysitting a 4 year old sweetie and by the time his dad picked him up, it was too late to do my hair. I’ll have to do my best to get up at the crack of dawn so I can do it before my massage as it is really bad!!!
Somersaulting stomach appears to have been either a false alarm or a very early warning as all is quiet here for the moment.
My gratitudes are:
1. I am grateful for a strong, healthy body.
2. I am grateful to be able to alter plans and still come out ok.
3. I am grateful for new and interesting opportunities.
4. I am grateful for kitty cuddles.
5. I am grateful for new experiences.
Love and light