I’m testing a theory tonight.  This is one of those nights when I’m sitting down at the computer, believing that I have nothing to say.   The theory I’m testing is the one in which I believe that there are times when I essentially relinquish control of my fingers to the Universe or my Higher Self or some other entity which I cannot name, but who takes over and types something really eloquent and intuitive.  I admit that it doesn’t happen every time I sit down with nothing to say, or I’d sit down every single night and just let them have at it.  But the fact that I am sitting down tonight might mean that in my nothingness, they see a place for somethingness. 

While I grope around for a topic or wait for this other to take over, I’ll dump a few thoughts from my day.  Upon waking from a series of rather violent dreams this morning, I found myself thinking that I really need to stop watching all of the cop style shows I watch like Castle, NCIS and The Mentalist because, depite the fact that I love watching how they solve the puzzles, the inherent violence is entering my dreams and that can’t be good.  However, I didn’t pay much attention as I watched NCIS, NCIS Los Angeles and Bones after going for a walk with the kids and my grandpuppy.  The difference tonight is that I watched far fewer hours of TV and cut myself off earlier.  I’m sure that sitting down to write for a little bit will also clear the garbage from my head, allowing me to sleep through the night instead of getting up three or four times, and thus, making me remember what I was dreaming even better! 

Tonight I’m very grateful for my daughter who didn’t trust in the Lexus dealership to make sure I got a ride back to my car or wherever I needed to go and called them while she was headed home, only to discover that they hadn’t gotten around to calling to tell me that my car wasn’t going to be ready due to a lack of parts.  This little fact would not have been communicated to me in time for them to get me a loaner car had my daughter not interceded.  Yet another reason why I don’t take my car to the dealer for servicing.  You would think, as a shop which deals exclusively in one make of car that they would, having gotten my car at 8 in the morning, found their way clear to obtain the necessary parts for a two year old car sometime during the day, but, having failed to do so, would have at least called me at some point to let me know that plans had changed!  I’m rather disappointed in their service and will certainly answer their questionnaire with my thoughts on this when it comes in my email!   At any rate, they gave me a loaded ES 350 again.  Heather’s theory is that they give you the extra nice loaner car in hopes that it will encourage you to buy something more expensive next time.  Too bad I’m one of those weirdos who actually keeps a car for 10 or 11 years and besides, I love my little IS and have no need for something bigger.  As I backed this tank into my garage tonight, the backup camera nearly had a coronary when I got too close to the shelves and refrigerator at the back of my garage.  As if I don’t know how much space I have back there????  I don’t care how smart they make these machines, our own experience and perception of space will always be a necessary part of our driving experience. 

While in Chinatown last weekend, Heather and I bought some herbal dieter’s tea from one of the tea shops after carefully perusing the ingredients.  I drank my first cup today and I’m certain that it killed my appetite for the rest of the day.  We’ll see if this kicks me fitness plan into high gear over the next couple of weeks.  Heaven knows my progress has been slow as I’m not as diligent about what I am eating, nor about getting on the Wii every day as I should be.  The long walk with the kids and Gwennie tonight helped though.  And tomorrow is a dance night, which means plenty of exercise!! 

As I type, Scooby Doo is sitting on my lap, insisting that there are more important things for my hands to do than chatter across these funny black and white squares.  As I clearly disagreed with him and insisting on typing between skritches, he got disgusted and wandered off.  I’m sure I’ll pay dearly for my neglect later.  But I wasn’t cat-less for long.  As Scooby leapt from my lap, Toby landed on the desk, ready to make himself comfortable as well as available for skritches.  One thing I will never be around here is lonely.   There will always be a kitty or three nearby to keep me company. 

So Heather and Mathom are gearing up for Mathom’s return to active duty, this time with the Marines.  And I’m gearing up for having them living far away, and having to figure out how to do things like Loki’s fluids and mani pedis on my own.  As much of an adjustment as it was when they moved into their own place, I’m guessing it will be far more traumatic to have them living far away.  Even having them living 10 minutes away on the other side of the valley was difficult at times, but at least I saw them regularly.  When they leave town after Mathom’s training, our contact will be via computer or phone.  There won’t be those last minute breakfasts or dinners I’ve gotten so used to.  What that means, overall, is that I need to get more diligent about filling my time.  Better about extending myself to the other people around me and even more self-sufficient about things I’ve come to count on them to simplify.  Clearly, this will be yet another lesson for me.  And I will rise to the challenge!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for new lessons to be learned.
2. I am grateful for my daughter who is sometimes less trusting than me.
3. I am grateful for brisk walks on cool nights with my hyperactive grandpuppy.
4. I am grateful for the time I get to spend with my daughter and son-in-law before they embark on wherever life will take them.
5. I am grateful for an abundance of opportunities, health and success.

Love and light.

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