Today I did something I had promised myself I would not do again!  It must have been a weak moment or the result of spending an entire gorgeous day sitting in front of my computer getting my finances in order so I could do my taxes.  Whatever the excuse, I definitely took a strange turn this time when I joined another dating site.  I haven’t done this in years as I was pretty disillusioned by the plethora of men who might not be all that much themselves, but are very specific about the woman they want to meet being “height and weight proportionate”.  What the heck does that mean???  (aside from being quite off putting for me, that is).  For all I know, one man’s cow is another man’s mermaid!  But the price was right (cheap) and I figured that I have nothing to lose, and maybe I won’t find anything there, but it will help with my confidence in the real world!  I’m still one of those women who can talk to people just fine until she sees a guy who she could be interested in and suddenly, an intelligent, erudite, confident woman turns into a blustering buffoon!  And I have to admit that tonight, I was quite confident and, well, full of myself, though it might have been a false sense of wonderfulness since it was Saturday night and the ratio of single guys in my age range to woman was about 1000 to 1.  It’s a good thing I go there to see my friends and dance and not to find “The One”.  If I do happen to find someone, I’ll consider it a very happy coincidence, but that is certainly not my reason for being there.  Truthfully, I’d rather find a friend to hang out with on non-dance nights and such because it’s a lot less stressful and tons more fun!  If the friendship should one day develop into something more, that’s fine, but I really would treasure a friendship more right now.  I used to have a lot of guy friends and I really enjoyed their company.  I’ve just never been one who makes friends easily with women.

I understand why I am very selective about my women friends, but what baffles me is why, over the years, I’ve seemed to bring out the worst in women who tend to be insecure or lack confidence in themselves.  It’s not like I would EVER disrespect someone else’s relationship, and I think I make that quite clear.  And although I consider myself reasonably attractive, I’m certainly no bombshell. 

Thankfully, I’ve been blessed to have found a cornucopia of strong, intelligent, confident, happy women lately, so I don’t typically experience that bone deep hatred I used to.  But I still don’t understand why I gave anyone reason to believe that I was a threat!  As it is water under the bridge, I will probably never know and I’m glad that whatever it is finally just steered me towards a better group of women who don’t have to play such childish games. 

Anyway, I was talking to one of my dance friends about dating tonight and mentioned that I’d given this site a shot.  She showed me a picture of a guy and said to avoid him like the plague as he’d exposed himself on their first and only date.  I got home from dancing and realized I’d left the site up on my computer.  When I checked it, who should I get my very first message from but the wanker!  This does not bode well for my success with the website!  But in all fairness, I’ll give it a chance and if it doesn’t show promise, I’ll simply delete my profile.  No harm, no foul.  Just keep sending out the open to suggestions vibes to the Universe and see how things fall out.

I’m sitting here now, trying to unwind, but wired as if I’ve had about 12 cups of coffee.  I guess that’s why this blog post has gone on longer than it needed to.  My fingers are babbling as badly as my brain!  But it was a great night of dancing, even if I only got a couple of two steps.  I also got a really fun WCS and did a couples dance or two by myself.  It’s all good.  My favorite DJ played some awesome line dance sets and I had to peel my soggy clothes off of my body when I got home.  For the non-dancers out there, that is the sign of a really good dance night!!!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for totally awesome dance nights.
2. I am grateful for my continued success in achieving a bathing suitable body by the cruise next year.
3. I am grateful for completing the input so I can start my taxes this weekend.
4. I am grateful for feeling so wonderful after my little flu and migraine ride last week.
5. I am extremely grateful for the wonderful people I get to see and dance with every week!

Love and light.

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