After nearly a week of drinking gallons of water, yet never feeling hydrated but having my sinuses fill up so often that I’ve been using the neti pot five and six times a day, I understand where all of my bodily fluids are going but am no closer to understanding how one small spot can soak up such incredible quantities of water and leave none for the rest of the machine!  Clearly, this is not one of the examples of how efficient the human body can be.  It’s a better example of how our government machine operates, sending most of the resources to one area and chastising the rest of the equipment for not being happy with the meager pittance they’ve been allocated.  Clearly, greed rears its ugly head in places we cannot even imagine!

But things are improving in my body, unlike with the government, and equilibrium will soon be maintained once again. 

There seems to be a new pattern emerging in which I compare seemingly disparate things to each other and develop what is, to me at least, a meaningful, if slightly absurd, analogy.  But then, “absurd” is a word which has always been easily associated with me and my thought processes.  Although I do eventually get to the same place as other folks do, my route is hardly the most direct, nor does it, in many cases, make much sense to the outside world.  But get there, I do, and I’d like to think that I enjoy the ride a bit more for having taken the road less traveled. 

Which is another theme I seem to keep coming back to.  As I follow my twisting, turning path to wherever it is I’m headed, I tend to make my choices by looking for a road that still has a few ruts left in it, is less clearly marked and perhaps even a bit overgrown.  I tend to want to be the one who discovers something new and exciting underneath that layer of dirt.  I am in search of that lovely, flawed stone or artifact which will inspire me or lead me towards something I might not have considered had I just followed the well worn path on the heels of so many who have come before me.  I’m looking for that “aha moment” which will bring together all of the thoughts and experiences I’ve had before and suddenly cause it all to make sense. 

But I’m not just looking for that mega supreme aha moment.  I’m looking for all of the little ones.  The pop rocks in your mouth that suddenly explode into a myriad of flavors and make you sit up and take notice.  You may not be able to pick out all of the individual flavors, but the explosion is sufficient to tantalize and inspire. 

And I also find it amusing that I can sit down in front of my computer of an evening, absolutely certain that I have nothing to write about and the next thing I know, I’ve covered a couple of pages! 

As I’ve pondered the sudden passing of an old childhood friend who grew up to be not only an amazing musician, but also a composer and more recently, a writer of fiction, I wonder if his creativity, as well as that of so many amazingly talented people who have created art, music and literature for us to enjoy, flowed in a similar manner. 

For me, I find that, oftentimes, I simply need to prime the pump, then stand back and let it run.  Certainly, if I don’t sit down at the computer to write at all, nothing will be written.  But if I were to sit down with an idea fully formed, would I block out everything that comes out when I just give my fingers free reign to type whatever comes to them?  Is what is going to be said already stored in a little compartment just waiting for me to open the door and let those thoughts pour out, unimpeded? 

I can actually make a good argument for either one of these since there are nights when I’ve sat down at the computer and had to almost literally use a crowbar to get the thoughts out onto the screen.  On other nights, I not only can’t seem to quite keep up with the thoughts pouring out, but I might write a blog in sections as the thoughts arise so that I have, essentially, three or four entries in one by the end of the day.  And then, I’ll sit here and my mind will wander, my fingers will still, and the page will remain blank.  Perhaps at these times, I’m simply trying to overthink the words I want to come out.  This overthinking wars with the free flowing side and the result is a mental paper jam.  One said is saying ” just run with it and don’t ask questions” and the other side says ” but I want it to come out just right!”  Needless to say, the two sides are less than compatible. 

Reading back over what I’ve written, I can honestly say that this is one of those nights when I’m not entirely sure where the thoughts came from.  Yes, they are, essentially, of me, but the directions they took and the words that were used are just slightly unfamiliar.    Recognizing this, I believe that letting my thoughts take over my fingers and run where they may is a methodology that I’m not going to change in the foreseeable future.  I really enjoy seeing what is going to pour out of my brain (aside from copious amounts of snot!) from one day to the next.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for my free flow of ideas.
2. I am grateful for my quiet Friday mights.
3. I am grateful for abundance and reminders from my daughter that it is evident in all aspects of my life.
4. I am grateful for my abundant health
5. I am grateful for nights when I can sleep in and let my mind and body run wherever they see fit.

Love and light.

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