While practicing my energy work today, going through an exercise for primary center stimulation, I found that the opening and “massaging” (for lack of a better word) of each center raised my awareness, especially where blocks were concerned.  I carried what I’d learned into my afternoon meditation, where I learned that one of the blocks has a number of facets, some of which came in this lifetime, and some from before.

What I have yet to figure out is whether behaviors which strengthened the block were additional causes, or merely symptoms of the original event.  Part of my confusion lies in the fact that, at least in part, I’m not ready to deal with the entire picture right now.  In the coming year, I know I will slowly pull it all out, but it is going to have to come out in its own way and in its own time.  I recognize the fact that it will be painful to some degree, but I don’t need to, essentially, pull my heart out through my mouth in one yank!  I believe the clearing process will be more effective in the long run if I just allow myself to cough up the loose stuff first, allowing more to loosen up as time goes on and I become stronger for the little releases.  For now, I’m just grateful for the insights I received today.

I realize I’m being rather vague, but the details I’m realizing are both very personal and only partially formed right now.  Unlike the woman who wrote “Julie and Julia”, I can and do edit what goes into my blog and refrain from sharing certain things, be they about myself or those close to me.  Some things are better left in the privacy of one’s own home or mind.

I’m really enjoying the evolution of the Ascension Resonance Therapy training both for all of the things I’m learning in general and for what I am learning about myself. It is also a tremendous honor to have the opportunity to connect with four amazing women and to be allowed to share in the process as they, too, discover their gifts and learn how to use  and strengthen them.   I include our instructor because I believe that this is a growth process which never really ends. We’ll continue to discover and work through things which block our energy flow, and as life has a way of doing, we’ll develop new blocks which we’ll need to address as well. 

Life is dynamic and as we evolve and change, we manage our experiences in different ways, some with better results than others.  Some will require a deeper connection with self to understand and accept ourselves, warts and all. 

One of our assignments involves ‘fessing up about our negative thought patterns.  I’m currently stuck on the question, not because I have none, but because I have no idea where to start.  I’m hoping that the energy exercises will help improve the flow so I can put feelings into words and words into action, but until then, I’ll continue to talk around the issues, getting closer and closer until I’m able to just address them directly.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the opportunity to open myself up, clear out the baggage and lighten my load for what I know is coming.
2. I am grateful for a quiet night at home with the cats, with nothing that I really needed to do.
3. I am grateful for a weekend when I can be productive while still taking care of myself.
4. I am grateful for a night when I don’t have to set the alarm (other than the Toby alarm which had better wait until at least the sun is coming in my window!) and can sleep until I wake up.
5. I am grateful for the people who are willing to help me complete the practice sessions for my class.  Without them, I’d still be overwhelmed and floundering.

Love and light.

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