Under the guise of searching for a document, I started going through old papers yesterday. I soon had a garbage bag full of papers to be shredded, some dating back as far as 1995! (funny how that year keeps coming up!)
As my daughter and son-in-law will be moving soon, she has been pulling the rest of her stuff from where it’s been stored in her old bedroom, leaving me with things which I need to sort through. (good thing she’s ending up getting a 3 bedroom house! She has a LOT of stuff!!! ) One of the things which had been piling up in the room was old clothes I’ve been meaning to donate. This was a good excuse to put them all into a big box, but then my ADHD kicked in!
If I’m going to be donating stuff, I could take the opportunity to pull some things from the back of my closets which I’ve clearly forgotten, right? Although there were some things I hesitated over, in the end, most of it went because clearly I found no reason to wear them any more! So, one well-filled box later, I have half empty closets, which for now, is a very good thing!
But I’m not stopping here! As soon as it cools off, I’ll move to the garage to go through still more boxes of old documents, and likely, fill another garbage bag with papers to be shredded.
My daughter has been fighting with the Navy’s housing office for several days, and finally turned it back over to her husband when she maxed out on frustration. Within a couple of hours, he had secured a larger place than he’d normally get for his rank (it seems that they have to find him something, even if it’s above his rank!) and provided them with the address of their new digs! The reason I mention this is that I feel, right now, just as she did a couple of hours ago; like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Yet all I did was to put a few things away and get ready to get some others out of my life for good!
I’ve had a number of things on my To Do list for months, but just haven’t managed to work up the motivation to move towards ticking them off. Although this week’s projects aren’t exactly what I have on my list, they are exactly what I needed to clear my head, not only for those projects, but also to get my butt in gear and spend more time each day writing.
In a way, I have been like a neglected carburetor, full of sludge and needing a good cleaning in order to function at full capacity. I may only have a small portion of that sludge cleared, but after functioning on little to no breathing space, just a little makes a huge difference!
While I haven’t added anything to the edits on my book today, nor managed to put anything down for the assignment for my copywriting class, what I did accomplish today really is part of the overall plan. I’ve found that when we have things hanging over our heads like some of the tasks on my To Do list do, it sucks the motivation right out of our bodies, leaving us unable to even do the things we love. By doing something as simple as decluttering my closets this week, I’m actually clearing out rubble from my brain as well.
On a conscious level, I know this is true, yet it’s taken me awhile to get back on the decluttering train, partly because what needs to be cleared out now is stashed carefully away in closets and cupboards and requires making rather a mess in order to finally clear things out. My office, at the moment, resembles a small but dangerous obstacle course with bins and bags scattered across the floor. I know it’s only temporary, so it’s not making me too crazy, and, as of today, I’ve removed the last obstacle between me and what the girls and I long ago dubbed “the little room”. It is actually a corner of the garage which my ex enclosed years ago when we agreed that there would be no more smoking in the house with the coming of my girls. In his “office”, he could sit and smoke, drink beer, watch TV and pretty much keep to himself (which may have, in part, contributed to his becoming the ex, but by now, the reasons have long ceased to matter). Since he left and we moved back into the house, it became a storage room and, in spite of my best efforts to keep it clean and neat, manages to fill up and require either a steam shovel or a flame thrower periodically. (this time, I think it’s the flame thrower).
But this time, I have a bin, a box and 4 file drawers under my decluttering belt and am ready to face the banker’s boxes which occupy part of the little room! As most of those boxes are older than what I’ve already gone through, it’s more than likely that I’m going to end up with a bunch of empty boxes at the conclusion of this exercise, which suits me just fine! I’ll have a fine load to take to the shredding day at the local Chamber of Commerce on Friday!
It’s funny, but even acknowledging the next task on my list is making me feel lighter and happier and ready to really dig back into the writing! I guess I had to hit my own rock bottom when it came to all of the boxes and bags, and when it finally weighed so heavily on my mind that it affected my normal functioning, it was time to take on the dragon and show him who’s boss! It occurs to me that I don’t need a flame thrower if I can tame that silly dragon!!!
This has certainly been an adventure, the last few years, getting my house in order, as it were. Piece by piece and room by room (and closet by closet) I’m reclaiming space which really doesn’t need to be filled. I actually have a guest room at the moment, and will soon have my meditation/healing room, sanctuary, or whatever I like. I have learned to keep clutter from re-accumulating so I’m no longer fighting an uphill battle. I’ve finally realized that things do not possess me! (I may be possessed, but it isn’t by an inanimate object! 🙂 )
Freedom comes in many ways, but I think the lessons I’ve been learning lately represent the purest form.
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for those aha moments which bring me to a better place.
2. I am grateful for more space!
3. I am grateful for the people who read and share my thoughts. They are truly my inspiration.
4. I am grateful for the return of my motivation.
5. I am grateful for new beginnings.
Love and light.