In re-reading last night’s post it suddenly dawned on me that for a lot of the people who are now in my past, although I don’t feel anything for them, per se, what I do feel is that I wish them well, whatever they’re doing and wherever they are. I don’t wish them to come back into my life, at least unless they’re supposed to for some purpose, but, maybe, as the song says, I wish them love. Of course, there are some I’m still working on forgiving by forgiving myself my part in the interaction which resulted in some kind of negative emotion, be it hurt, anger, disappointment, insult, or anything else which does not need to continue to be carried. But they are the ones who I have to keep reminding myself, when a negative thought comes up, to just send love and light to them on their own journey. Even those who have passed on, shed their human experience for the moment. Their journey continues and love and light will follow their spirit until they take on another human identity, and as such, they are probably more receptive to the love and light I send, as they are not bound by the constraints and perceptions we humans carry with us. And I wonder, by sending that love and light to those who’ve passed, if I become more open to messages they might want/need me to receive? Perhaps that is even part of why, at this time, I have decided to use my writing skills to share some of my experiences and the lessons I’ve learned, how I’ve learned them, and maybe even why. And once again, my ACIM lesson is affecting my perceptions for today. There truly is holiness in everything I see, be it with my eyes or with my spirit. And that holiness is so big and all encompassing that it must be shared in how we interact with people, the things we say, how we treat the world as a whole, every creature, every life of any kind.
As the day wears on, I’m struggling to find the holiness in everything around me. My daughter is, yet again, failing one of her classes, despite her assurance all semester that she was doing “fine” and she doesn’t see how this is a lie. My arm is still going numb with no apparent justification, aside from the injury I did my shoulder trying to put my weight on my arms to get out of a chair. Pain in the shoulder has eased, but the arm still goes numb, though not weak. I’ve also noticed that I’m feeling what I can only describe as “twitchy”, as if I’ve had too much caffeine when, in fact, I’ve had about a half of cup of green tea all day, along with 3 bottles of water. So, I set some ultimatums today, which I really don’t like doing, was late to my Chiro appointment because my review ran long, and didn’t feel that he was able to spend his usual amount of time with me as a result (of course, I was the one who was late, so I really can’t blame him. At least he still got me in!).
To sum up the afternoon: Restless, twitchy, disappointed, tired and ready to go home and just lie on the bed with Dylan.
In hindsight, I should have known when not one, but two unhappy souls refused to let me merge on the freeway this morning that the day would have its challenges. To try to clear out the muck, I’ll do my card of the day here, then just post what I have and get ready for sleep. My shoulder is aching more this evening, though the numbness in my arm has abated. I guess I have one or the other.
Card of the day: The Moon (again!)
I see: A wolf gazes adoringly at the Mother who holds a large white egg reverently. Behind her sits the Crone with her head covered by a shawl and a torch in her hand. Overlooking them both is the maiden wearing a gossamer robe which is open in front. They are all framed by a large orb which is light on their right and dark on their left. A group of vines surrounds the Mother’s feet, bearing small, round, white flowers. Within these vines sits a crab with it’s claws lifted up towards the three women. The astrological symbol for Pisces perches atop the Tree of Life while a Hebrew letter which resembles the letter “P” fills the upper left corner. The Crone’s hand clutching the torch is an almost surreal, ghost-like white in contrast to the Mother and Maiden whose skin has a healthy, rosy glow.
I feel: I am receiving suggestions to go further into myself at this time. Introspection will be more valuable to me than socializing and sharing. There is something within myself which needs to be brought to the surface, but it must be done slowly to ensure that it comes through intact. My intuition will be invaluable right now, and I need to trust it to lead me in the right direction.
I think: I am not alone right now but have womankind working with me to bring forth a secret which is ready to be told. Although I am experiencing a certain amount of trepidation, when the moment is ripe, the fruit will be ready to be picked and cooked into the pie I am preparing to create. The ingredients for this pie will come from many sources, but when combined together into one luscious dessert, will feed and satisfy all.
I’ll have to pull up the interpretations I have done for this card and compare them one of these days. I’m certain that they will all be quite different, despite the basic traits of the card which cannot be changed. But for now, I see a bag of frozen corn laying on my shoulder. 🙂
Love and light.